webnovel
avatar

Review Detail of Jovilynx in The Tyrant Billionaire

Review detail

Jovilynx
JovilynxLv101yrJovilynx

The story is interesting, I must admit that. I see that you're trying to portray the MC as a through and through villain who also has his humane side, which reflects in Li Na and characters such as grandma and Ling Chen. But on the other hand, it seems as if he exists only to be tyrannical, to be evil and brutal, all the bad, unprincipled. I'd say that your writing pace is too fast, slow down a bit, add a bit more description to certain scenes, even the fighting ones. Try to add more introspection on the MC's side so we can understand him better. For example, the assassination scene in the manor where he cut the throat of the guy who slept with two women could have been written with more tension by describing his mental state and such. Why aren't you already making him use his golden finger by entering small markets and taking non-perishables under everyone's noses? Describe a scene like that. Despite being a character that's supposed to be both smart and villainous, he seems superficial. Some kind of male ego, a chauvinistic point of view is leading him forward. I'm see-sawing between neutrality and antipathy for him as a character. For better reading experience, please proofread your chapters the best you can. Use capital letters, comas, all the proper punctuation. In the end, despite all of this, I'm giving it a pretty high grade because it has potential and I did say it is interesting. Good work and continue pushing forward.

altalt

The Tyrant Billionaire

DaasWolfe

Liked by 4 people

LIKE

Replies1

DaasWolfe
DaasWolfeAuthorDaasWolfe

Thank you i appreciate it. I will try to work more on the pace i will try to slow it down more. For character i do understand where you are coming from but that will take some time. its a bit hard to achieve a true villain type of character, But i can start with working on the ego side i believe i can remove that or at least minimize it. Tension by describing his mental state, this point is good i think i will start with this. Thank you for your review, you have giving me a direction to work on. I wish you a good day friend.