webnovel
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv41yr
2023-03-02 08:13

The name of the protagonist and the other characters is confusing, added to the poor quality of the writing, the story is too confusing, which gives headaches when trying to understand and order it. It may not be consistent with the social environment, but it would be preferable for the protagonist to be called Bob, Max, Alex, Carlos, Manuel, Miguel, Pepito... Also, the point of view (POV) changes in this story are another reason why it's confusing, they're poorly done. You could dedicate an entire chapter to the POV of the other characters, but don't combine 2 or more POV in a single chapter. Finally, it is not known exactly at what moment a character is speaking or thinking, nor at what moment the characters start or end the dialogue.

GOT/ASOIAF: Break the Wheel

Pretending_Author
3.9
189 Chs

Liked by 22 people

LIKE
Replies8
Kiramoon57886
Kiramoon57886Lv15

you never read game of thrones have you

1yr
8
Epic_Lam
Epic_LamLv1

Hey, are you cuban?

1yr
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv4

No 🤨

Epic_Lam:Hey, are you cuban?
1yr
Lc_The_Second
Lc_The_SecondLv4

Look at this guy... As if names like Carlos, Miguel, Pepito would be any less weird... Dude. To you it may seem like since you first language clearly is something like Spanish or Portuguese. But for anyone else it would be even weirder.

10mth
1
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv4

Ok, xio feng. Kiss a your mommy Xia fang.

Lc_The_Second:Look at this guy... As if names like Carlos, Miguel, Pepito would be any less weird... Dude. To you it may seem like since you first language clearly is something like Spanish or Portuguese. But for anyone else it would be even weirder.
image
10mth
Noname_nobody
Noname_nobodyLv2

Bob? Really? Didn’t read even one chapter, but your names are not for european like origins. For fics/novels like ASOIAF history bonded names are the best choice. Or some mixes of chistian/arabian in one name. I think something like Lucas, Daniel, Matthew, Michael, George, Charles. That’s fine.

10mth
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv4

Bob Uchiha

Noname_nobody:Bob? Really? Didn’t read even one chapter, but your names are not for european like origins. For fics/novels like ASOIAF history bonded names are the best choice. Or some mixes of chistian/arabian in one name. I think something like Lucas, Daniel, Matthew, Michael, George, Charles. That’s fine.
image
10mth
1
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv4

Bob Uchiha. Smith Uzumaki

Noname_nobody:Bob? Really? Didn’t read even one chapter, but your names are not for european like origins. For fics/novels like ASOIAF history bonded names are the best choice. Or some mixes of chistian/arabian in one name. I think something like Lucas, Daniel, Matthew, Michael, George, Charles. That’s fine.
image
9mth
1
Other Reviews
Kelvin_Ade
Kelvin_AdeLv10

what can I say the story is awesome and each individual character's has depth in it, the world building was so on point that you can feel the author passion resonate in each chapter it is a most read for serious Game of thrones fan

2yr

Volotko
VolotkoLv4

Very good story. Interesting development of the world. The pace of storytelling is like i prefer, whithout rushing and with enough details. Please, keep up the good work.

2yr
DaoistZack
DaoistZackLv2

This is a really good AU of Martin's Planetos. It is well-written, the development is interesting, and the characters are like-able. The MC is a chill dude, which makes the story nice to read. He isn't some edgy murder hobo, thankfully, and the harem idea is well-executed - especially if one looks at it from the perspective of someone who has no idea of the morals of the late 19th century and onwards.

1yr
Kw0z
Kw0zLv14

Thought I would warn everyone that the harem members get with each other. It’s just self-justified NTR for the cucks.

2yr
NowGoWithTheFlow
NowGoWithTheFlowLv14

To be honest I was confused the whole time. I read around 10 chapters and watch the movies so I should know a lot but still got confused. Who's the MC because I don't know. Author shifts the perspective to much that you don't know who's who. It's basically a time chart with only important events for each year. I wanted to give a lower score but I couldn't because I didn't know how to score this. Also author when does the book start?

2yr
Amelion
AmelionLv10

this story is very confusing, in my opinion writing this fanfic is very messy, you also write too much pov of each character without you focusing on mc

1yr
Mr_hypocrite
Mr_hypocriteLv4

So confusing, you can write it off as normal, but again it's your choice. I didn't enjoy it even though I tried my best. You wanted to create something extraordinary but now it is totally a mess , I wish the writing style of this novel was normal. I'm giving it 2 stars because I feel like I wasted my time here

1yr
Stieborn
StiebornLv4

Why is this in the yuri tag section 🙂...

1yr
Rubi_Stone
Rubi_StoneLv1

Yeah, pretending to be an author. Such a mess in just first few chapters, that you understand how much shame this novelists have nowadays. Lots of stupid woman running amok all over westeros, cause an idiot can't decide on his hormonal stupidness

1yr
Targas
TargasLv3

Reveal spoiler

2yr
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