Review Detail of TrueDawn in MMORPG: Rise of the Primordial Godsmith
Review detail
(This review has been made after I posted Chapter 315.) Hey there. It's been almost six months since I've started writing this novel, so I think it's about due time for me to give another review to this novel from my perspective. Of course, if you take a look at the latest reviews I've gotten, you'd see that a great portion of them say that MC acts incredibly cowardly and newbie-like for someone who has a lot of experience, with some of them even talking about how I rely on a certain phrase a lot of the time (the phrase in question is "could not help but"). From this point onward, there's a possibility that I might spoil a few things about the story, which I would like to apologize in advance for. However, I'll still try my best to not spoil it. First and foremost, let me talk about my reliance on a few key phrases, with the most glaring one you'd find while reading the story is the counter for "could not help but" in the paragraph comments. Then again, there are a few other key phrases I tend to use as a crutch throughout the novel, but let me point out that English is not my first language. Aside from that, I've taken a great portion of the inputs you've given me, which I sincerely appreciate, and have varied my usage of words ever since. From Chapter 200 onwards, rarely has the "could not help but" phrase ever been used. But alas, reviews mentioning it still pop up, so I guess worrying about is useless in the end. Moving on from that, let's talk about the MC's personality at the beginning of the novel. Similar to the active change I've made towards the omission of the usage of certain phrases, I've also taken action towards changing the MC's personality outright at Chapter 115 into something that was more in line with what people expect from someone with a lot of experience. But once again, I still get reviews about how they don't like MC's personality at the beginning and how they call him multiple names under the sun. Believe me when I say I've already taken note of it and that I am planning to rewrite the beginning of the story once I graduate college (which would happen hopefully a few months after I post this review). I'm not oblivious towards MC's personality at the beginning, especially if I know why he acts like that in the first place. In the end, I just wanted to make this review to tell everyone who is reading and who is planning to read this novel a couple of things. For those who have read my novel up to the latest chapter and are continuing to read it, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And for those who are planning to pick up the book from the title and the synopsis, just keep an open mind. It's part of the reason why I made at least 90 chapters of the novel free, after all. Of course, I'd like it if you get to around Chapter 115 at the very least, but I won't hold it against you if you don't. Once again, I would like to thank everyone who has given me support and constructive criticism of what I've been writing thus far, making me realize that I still have a lot to improve on. I hope you enjoy the journey the novel shall take you on. (This review shall be removed once the beginning of the story has been rewritten to fit the overall narrative better.)
MMORPG: Rise of the Primordial Godsmith
TrueDawn
Liked by 41 people
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Honestly, in regard to Valyrs' personality early on, I found it fitting. He was given a second chance to stop something huge. it's a lot of pressure, and in a lot of games like this one, early choices can really bite you. he was careful. once he starts to build confidence in his choices and also sees the differences, it gives him the liberty to be bolder.
Great response. In actuality, I don't think we were really bothered by the use of the key phrases, it was more that we were impressed someone was going through and counting them all. That said, it's probably still for the better that I can't remember the last time I saw one, as the story started to progress a little more. In terms of the stuff about Valyr though, yeah I agree with others have said. I do like the change though, and it shows you can take on board feedback which is always the sign of someone who knows what they're doing. All I would want to say to a new reader is probably just give it a go. In terms of negatives, I mean sometimes there's small plot holes or inconsistencies, but when hasn't there been In a Webnovel? Also they're very minor and don't hamper enjoyment of the story much, which itself is really starting to burgeon and turn into something seriously good. Anyway, erm.... Cya? I guess I'll see people in the comments of the latest chapters. As usual, just ask any questions and I'll try to reply and answer if I can help.
i won't make any promises, but with the general outline I've made for the novel, it'll go past 1k chapters at the very least.
Ryan_Schafer:Hey @truedawn, How many chapters are you aiming for in total?
Hi TrueDawn, first I want to say that I enjoy the story. the character of valyr was indeed strange at the start but I think it was still ok and it is getting better. One thing I want to suggest that would improve the writing massively is to avoid redundancy. Often, as I am reading, it fells like the dame information is being written just in different ways. for instance you have some lines of dialogue along with a text version of the dialogue. For example, you would write(not from the novel): "Hey Valyr, how about forging a weapon for me?" said Damien, asking valyr if he wanted to forge a weapon. "No, I do not have the time", answered valyr, explaining that he did not have enough time to forge today. Hopefully, you understand what I mean.
I definitely understand what you mean. I'll definitely keep that in mind when I write chapters in the future. Thanks for the feedback!
Divne:Hi TrueDawn, first I want to say that I enjoy the story. the character of valyr was indeed strange at the start but I think it was still ok and it is getting better. One thing I want to suggest that would improve the writing massively is to avoid redundancy. Often, as I am reading, it fells like the dame information is being written just in different ways. for instance you have some lines of dialogue along with a text version of the dialogue. For example, you would write(not from the novel): "Hey Valyr, how about forging a weapon for me?" said Damien, asking valyr if he wanted to forge a weapon. "No, I do not have the time", answered valyr, explaining that he did not have enough time to forge today. Hopefully, you understand what I mean.
Sick novel is all I can say, been reading for 30 chapters now and I'm impressed. Especially factoring in that english isn't your first language. Write on.
TrueDawn:I definitely understand what you mean. I'll definitely keep that in mind when I write chapters in the future. Thanks for the feedback!
Pendulum_:Sick novel is all I can say, been reading for 30 chapters now and I'm impressed. Especially factoring in that english isn't your first language. Write on.
Judah_7283:do him as an npc come out of the game to save earth bcos I don't understand
