Review Detail of hidingpanduh in The Voidwalker's Tale: Fallen Paradise

From the beginning we get a good idea of what’s to come in terms of character and the descriptive quality of the story. The images described are shocking in the gruesome detail and it feels like I’m able to imagine everything in HD. The first chapter is the best so far, because it feels the most focused. The focus on the hook is great because it makes the reader want to be invested, and I love the first few paragraphs. The meeting of Astrid and Reimi is intriguing and makes me wonder why suddenly people are interested in Reimi when it seems they avoided Reimi before. I like the contrast between Astrid and Reimi, like night and day. Astrid is a bright sunny star and Reimi is a dark mysterious moon. I also think it’s interesting that Reimi doesn’t even speak until chapter four! Some things that can be improved include having a better balance between action scenes and descriptive paragraphs. I think chapter two is so action-packed, it seems there’s an imbalance between descriptions of setting and the action. A suggestion when going back to edit is to balance the action scenes by adding some more descriptive elements otherwise it feels like BAM BAM BAM one big action or fight after the other. Another point is in terms of plot, I don’t see a clear desire or direction. There is definitely a lot of conflict and elements in the story that could add to the direction! But I wonder for the character development, how will that work itself out? I like how there’s something like an alliance forming between Astrid and Reimi and the way Astrid protects Reimi is so sweet. I don’t think we need a full idea of the plot since that should unravel as the story goes on but it would be nice if during the story there’s some kind of desire of the character for Reimi especially I would love to see a stronger motivation (love/revenge/identity) though I think there is already a great base for a possible focus on Reimi’s identity. Overall it’s super enjoyable so far and I look forward to reading more!