webnovel
Mr_Babbles
Mr_BabblesLv152yr
2022-12-25 05:19

I only read 3 chapters, not because it was particularly bad but just because a lot of the decisions just weren't my cup of tea due to cliche weapon and gates and dungeons(I'm just not a fan so I won't demerit a novel for it as that wouldn't be fair) , for an authors first time writing a novel the grammar and writing was so incredible I was shocked. the world could have been introduced a bit smoother and more deeply, like sure we now know the bigger world and what's encompassing it, but I would like to see the smaller stuff too like the names of places or descriptions of what he sees around him(basically set up a scenery around them) other than that it's a phenomenal work of art and should be praised

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Drew_Paroz
Drew_ParozLv2

Overall, the book has a decent start [review as of chapter 70]. Below I have my take on good and bad. Author, thank you for taking the time to create! Good: 1) Fights are well described and easy to visualize 2) Author does a good job of showing when MC is being smart and when he just thinks he is being smart 3) Best friend character is not "Fatty*" [seriously this is worth a whole star] 4) So far, his motivations are not due to any annoying tropes like sick family, unreasonable desire for revenge, kidnapping, etc., which I find to be an amazing deviation for usual Bad: 1) His parents really, really suck. Now you might say that since they are shown that they care about the MC they are good parents, but they did absolutely nothing to train him. In a world where power is everything, going to a good school requires being a good fighter, they refused to train him. If that is not neglect, I do not know what is. They are actively risking his life for no reason. MAYBE, the 4 star general dad had an excuse that he could not personally do it since he was busy, but they are rich enough and have powerful friends, I am sure they could find someone to help. During a training arc, someone has to explain basic, crucial terms to him. He was not even told what things mean, I mean how awful can you be that you cannot even provide your son a glossary. 2) To me, it is/was a mystery how strong each of the commandments are. Let alone what happens when you switch. So far, we know you can get new abilities, increase talent etc., but that was not explained at once, it took like 40 chapters for definitions of power to make any sense. There are characters described as being 2nd commandment fighters. Okay, so, is that strong, middle level, apex power? That is not at all clear during my read through until later chapters. 3) This might be just me, so not as strong as #1, but the MC gets mad at every little thing. "If I wasnt hiding my powers I could beat you!!!!!!!!1111!!!!" Truth is, he cant. The MC is too big for his breaches which is fine in a weak to strong type MC, but he keeps getting beat down and never learns his lesson, makes it seem like he is throwing a temper tantrum that someone who is 2 whole levels higher than him, is in fact stronger. 4) The author keeps referencing some "big event" in the past. I get it can be part of the story later and helps to define personalities and interactions of your main cast and chapter 70 in a webnovel can be just the beginning. But it comes up too often for all these vague terms in conversations to make sense. When your aunt and mom privately talk about sometime important, they would not likely talk about "the incident", they would just say what it was. 3 star general Mom has likely seen a lot of stuff, so her life probably has more than one important event, so calling 1 thing THE incident, just irks me more than is rational.

coredisciple
corediscipleLv4
Powerles
PowerlesLv13
Related Stories

Omnipotent Husband System

Hao Ren was born in another world and has lived for over twenty-two years being nothing but a definition of the word, average. After a high school reunion, the young man sat down on the beach shore, and mumbled to the sky, "God of Novels, you are unfair. I spent forty years of my life doing nothing but reading books and stories written by others. I worked hard to manifest this rebirth, and yet you did not bless me with anything. Why?" A voice echoed in his mind, "Host, you have the Omnipotent Husband System." Hao Ren scoffed and scolded the system, "What is the use of having you when you are not even active? Are you shitting with me, you bastard?!" The system replied, "Host the condition for activating the system is to get married." Hao Ren could not handle it anymore and cried out loud as he complained about this condition. He was not good-looking, and neither was he wealthy, who was going to marry him? Tired, he spent the on the beach. When he was returning home, he passed by the marriage registering center. He sighed for his fate but suddenly, a beautiful lady asked him, "Hey, do you have any identity card on you?" Hao Ren nodded in a daze, and the lady dragged him inside the office. The young man was yet to register what happened to him when an automated voice sounded, "Host, congratulations on getting married. Omnipotent Husband System is now activated." ... Years later, Hao Ren became an entity many people wished to meet. However, Hao Ren never stayed outside, to everything he had one reply, "I have to go home and cook for my wife." Would you like to know his journey from an average to an over-achieving person standing at the apex of power and prestige? ... Author's Note: If you guys wish to discuss the book with your co-readers, or have suggestions for me on how to improve the story, you can reach me out on discord. Discord: chasing_dream06

Chasing_Dreams · Urban
4.6
440 Chs

MY SUGAR MUMMY IS A BEAUTIFUL VAMPIRE

This is an R18 book with just the right amount of Romance that will make you love love! ...... Blake Shelton's life takes an unexpected turn when he lands a job at Shelley Technologies. His boss, Rose Shelley, not only proves to be a powerful, formidable leader but also an intriguing figure. As Blake becomes accustomed to his new lifestyle, Rose's acts of generosity grow more extravagant, leaving him puzzled about the hidden motives behind her lavish gifts. Blake enjoys the luxurious life for a while until a huge curve ball gets thrown at him, when he discovers that Rose is more than just a successful CEO – she's a possessive, domineering vampire. Now caught between the dazzling allure of luxury and the mystery of Rose's true nature, Blake navigates a world where wealth and the supernatural collide. Ultimately, he begins to question the price of the life he's come to enjoy. "From now on Blake, you belong to me alone," ******* Disclaimer please : This cover isn’t mine, picked it up from Pinterest and can’t find the artist! Would gladly drop it if owner steps up. *Further information* For those wondering, there will be ….. LEMONS - YES SMUT - YES NTR - Disgusting! (No NTR!!!) Gore - Yes Dark - Yes!! Chapter uploads will be regular but the counts can go higher if your support increases as well! This is my first work and also my WSA ENTRY!! PLEASE give it a chance and be easy on me, lol. I’ll be dropping a discord link in the first chapter comment. Do well to join up! Thanks for the support! DISCORD : https://discord.gg/Gz9DJdmCFz

ElderGods · Urban
4.3
442 Chs