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TatuGDM
TatuGDMLv122yr
2022-09-29 21:41

The idea behind this story is quite original and it had a good start. However the focus of this story is not the MC like the original. It is all about Lily. Most of the chapters are dedicated to feelings towards Lily from MC and other characters and Lily's own feelings. The original story had a better MC and story development as Lily's worship ended in the first few chapters and would be back only from time to time. Now it is all the time and become repetitive.

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Other Reviews
_VIIX_
_VIIX_Lv4

In my opinion it's a Decent Fanfic. If you're a fan of Hermione being the witch extraordinaire that can outsmart Sith dark lords left right and center then wait no more, for you're at the right place. Sadly this isn't my cup of tea so I'd bid farewell. I had hopes that the rewrite would have some better quality but nah. Author wants Hermione as the mastermind and outsmarting Vader at every turn so... meh. Writing quality: 5/5 The author knows writing well. No grammatical mistakes, no noticable flow break and no overarching info drops. So complaints there. Story development: 3/5 Would've given 4/5. I don't like how he goes on and on about Lily for 2 chapters straight. I know this is to drive home the angst Serverus is feeling. I understand but I don't have to like it. My main complaint is about the time travel aspect, how Vader will get blackmailed to hand over everything 'House Prince' to Hermione and be her white knight in shining armour. Because that's exactly what happened in the previous one and the author wants to keep that part the same. Character Design: 2/5 (Might change later down the line but not sure really) If things go same as the previous work then I'm sure Vader's character would be butchered, same with Snape. And call it personal bias but if it was my ideal world, then in no way Hermione could ever match the leagues of Vader and Snape in mind games. So nah, never been her fanboy and won't be one now. Updating Stability: 5/5 No complaints there. Given the word counts and quality of writing, the author gives updates at great pace. So future readers needn't be worried about updates at least. Overall: 3.8/5 Once again pretty decent fanfic. My grumpiness comes from my own personal preferences hence why I'd recommend everyone to give it a chance. Because you might come to like it unlike me and that's totally fine.

Brezer
BrezerLv14

I feel vader being added was to snag more readers because there is very little star wars stuff. the mc is really an afterthought after the author brings in hermione. she uses the mc by holding the family ring over his head and instead of actually acting like vader/snape and capturing them and ripping the info out he acts like a simp and let's himself be used. I don't like hermione at all, I detest the character. now the last version of the story snape went to Salem and for some reason hermione came with which makes no sense since she was sent back to wipe out death eaters or such so if the rewrite goes the same direction I am out. the story makes no sense. so we start with vader merging with snape and becoming a simp then we have the whole Lilly scene where she is too stupid to understand the reason the marauders hate and bully snape is because of potter being jealous of snape and of course if your pushed so far you will break. so we have a simp vader/snape that has semi got over Lilly but still has it hard for padme which he thinks he is going to try and build a ship etc to go back but there is no way to build the tech to make a ship there is no industrial base to even start. I mean how can you build something microchip when the highest tech is vacume tubes (using as an example) so that's bad part 1. bad part 2 is hermione and Draco this time travel back in time sent by future snape to set things right and I am guessing it has to do with death eaters and Morty. ok this is my 2nd biggest issue with the rework so far. the time travel makes no sense. so non vader snape sends the fluff head (despise the character) and Draco to change the future AFTER snape is joined by vader.. anyone seeing the issue.... the timeline that fluff head came from is totally different then where they ended up with vader/snape since her future snape had no vader and there are little examples she mentions like how snape uses a sword and how he has cleaned up and fixed his nose and teeth which her futuer snape didn't have any of this. so nothing they do will fix their timeune they came from so what else is different from what they know... so bad part 3 is the whole idea vader/snape would be manipulated by fluff head, so she knows where the inheritance ring is and holds it over snape/vader so if he wants the info he will do as she says .... ya we know how this woukd go, he would capture then rip the info out of her head not turn into a simp and do as she wants. so if this goes as the last he will go to Salem to get away from the eaters and fluff head will follow.... ok this part again makes no sense, if fluffy came back to deal with the eaters why would she follow him to America where there are no eaters at. also fluffy is supposed to be in 6th year and by that time she has turned down the whole know it Allard bossy attitude the author has he as in the story so ya does not fit. I have no idea what Draco is there for. so there is very little star war stuff, a little force stuff but that about is so it seems adding darth on the title was just to get more readers to look. do I recommend the story... if you are looking for toilet reading material after reading all the shampoo bottle labels then yes it's OK but its not worth investing any time in following it. snape/vader will never leave earth so you will end up with a simp vader being used and abused by fluff head.

Sorcein
SorceinLv3
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