Review Detail of Twitchy_ in Moved To A New Link ()

I like the style. I honestly feel like it's underrated, and quite the story can be told by the way you write. I do have some suggestions, but I won't mark down my review at all because it's good otherwise. When you're typing, put spaces between commas and use parentheses more often, maybe even put lines between some dialogue to better split up the paragraphs you write. Your story itself is just fine, but the grammar could use some slight adjustments. Other than that, nice work! It's very good.