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nekrom1
nekrom1Lv31yr
2023-10-15 16:39

okay, I will say this your writing is really good, but if you could please try to increase the size of the chapters and if you could try to break the paragraphs into smaller paragraphs to increase the readability, the flow of writing is going smoothly.

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KyrieUzumaki
KyrieUzumakiAuthor

Thanks for the advice :)

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Patrik_Crown
Patrik_CrownLv12

As a fan of vampires, I immediately began reading your book after finding the link on your profile. Although it has only eight chapters out, I wanted to share my thoughts with you. When it comes to the writing quality, I gave you 4 stars due to seeing various mistakes and a few poorly constructed sentences that sometimes made no sense. I would recommend breaking up some of them to improve the clarity of your story so your readers can better imagine what you want them to imagine. As for the stability of updates, I am unsure as I only discovered the novel half an hour ago and read all the chapters in one sitting. However, assuming you release them daily, I gave you a 5-star for that. The story development is well done and quite engaging, drawing you in from the first chapter. The character design is also impressive, with Nicolle being portrayed as a kind-hearted but self-deprecating girl, while Jasper is a sinister yet complex character with his vampiric nature. Regarding the world background, I can't say much as only a few locations have been presented so far. Nonetheless, if the Author continues, I believe there will be many more places to imagine. In conclusion, I would give your book a rating of 4.8 out of 5.0 stars. It's a great story, with well-developed characters and an interesting plot. It had me hooked from the start, and all the time reading it, I was unable to put it down like a Vampire is unable to pull away from the neck of a gorgeous and tasty woman. I highly recommend others give it a chance and I look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work, Author! And for those who are stuck to the end, what are you waiting for? Join Nicolle on her way to conquer the heart of the sinister yet romantic Vampire, Jasper Snow. Peace~

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