Hey guys I know a lot of people liked my last book and although it was good I just didn't feel good about it. I didn't pace myself and I got tired to the point I hated looking at it. It's a new book and honestly I like this one way more. This one is much more planned out and I think people will like it.

Well in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking at this matter in a different way and without fighting and by trying to make it clear, and by considering each and everyone's opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.

Reveal spoiler

Writing a fanfiction of HxH is extremely complicated because the original story is linear with very few world background. For the moment, the protagonist can progress outside this linearity. Create your world, create new characters, allies and antagonist. Create him a goal. Don't get locked in the story of gon and killua. You have great writing skills. You can do it !!!

hello, what i'm going to write and say are just tips that i think will be useful to improve this story. I read a lot of novels and mangas which are both excellent and bad. I then wondered why some market and others not. I learned that the emptying of information was situational, that is to say that the information given to us serves the present moment therefore easier to understand. In this fan-fiction and even in several fan-fiction, even if we know the powers and rules of the fan-fiction because we know the original story, the authors give us their information without any reason. For my opinion, I think you gave us his information to make us understand that he knows the world of Hunter x Hunter but there is another way to make us understand that he knows this world. The other way for me, is to describe the place of residence, he lives in Meteor City, show us that he lives there with the specificity that Meteor City has shown in the manga. Then it's the MC, the MC is quite interesting and ambitious but at the same time not interesting. Let me explain, telling us the general objective of the character is good but telling us all its little details that I must be friends with this one or kill this one is not interesting, show it to us. I don't like to hear the thoughts of the characters, I rather prefer to see their actions so that I can understand their thoughts for myself. Now let's talk about the Hunter x Hunter fan-fiction part. I have read several Hunter x Hunter fan fiction and have noticed that many authors have failed to capture the essence of Hunter x Hunter, the fighting. From my understanding the fights in Hunter x Hunter are separated into 2 parts: - The physical part where you use the power of your Hatsu to win. - The reflection part where we try to decipher the opponent's Hatsu to win. And it is this second part that many authors forget. To work on this second part I advise you to review his first fight against the Ancient. I don't take into account the second fight against the elder because the MC won only thanks to his improvement of his Hastu and not by understanding in depth the Hastu of the Elder. Here I hope it could help improve this story because I read it myself and I want to read a better way of it.

this is an amazing read, I love his (MC) relationship with the phantom troupe and also that he and the author is mature enough to not write a character that has to have a leader or top dog position to stroke his own ego. not that he doesn't have an ego, he is mature enough to know that he has his limits and that he won't be able to work on his own project and be the leader of the phantom troupe at the same time. his background as an hitman has a little amounts of plot holes but since this story is still young I have enough faith in the author's skill that he will fill them in the future with a flashback. also he is intelligent, yes intelligent not high IQ but he still has that, but he has a wide range of intelligence, like social Intelligence. Also HxH or chrollo fans this fanfic, I believe has done his character and personality justise, SO DEFINITELY READ IT!

I like the story. 100% for any HxH fic. The only problem I have with how quick some characters get to find out their Nen affinity. in the show for geniuses, 1 in 10 000 000 geniuses, like Gon and Kilua it took several months to get to that step and a 1 in 100 000 genius like Zushi took a couple of years. I do know there are some people like: Tserriednich that took up Nen in a couple of days, but that is what makes him so scary and unique. This isn't a problem only with this fic, but with most HxH fics I've seen.

I think his ability is more of Complete Hypnosis like Aizen, cuz Illusion mostly fool the sense of sight, and by relaying on other senses one may be able to counter Illusion. since his Hatsu fool all five senses its 'complete hypnosis' or at least can be called as 'perfect illusion'. you cannot even trust your allies for they could be the enemy in disguise, its one of the things that made Aizen OP but never seeing his blade or touching it when you are under its effect cancel it, while MCs own cannot be cancelled like Kyouka suigetsu. Just imagine his 'En' range in canon means he may be able to put a whole city or even a country under complete hypnosis, making himself like a God inside his ability range of effect, able to freely manipulate all people's perceptions. also I think that ability effect range being his En count as a restriction and a good one to boost its effect. (just saying that he may've already put a restriction on his hatsu and it could help explaining in the future why his ability have effect on superior opponents) a little suggestion: sneak onto Zoldyck home more specifically to where Alluka (secretly fullfil three of her requests, and get the a wish) he don't need to be reserved on his wish as its not his concern who suffer the next requests which would naturally be impossible to fulfill due to how big his wish would be: like increase his talents in any type of nen, get more Nen Quality & Quantity. (or a perfect replica of anyone's hatsu, so long as he master the nen type the said hatsu fall under) like Kurapika's Chains.

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