webnovel
Slothiticus
SlothiticusLv142yr
2022-08-22 05:09

I like the idea of the story but hate the execution. There are two main issues I currently have with the story. The first, is what can best be described as lag because much like lag the story seems jerky as it speeds up and slows down seemingly for no reason and often very abruptly. a good example but by far not the only instance was how it skips over all the growth of mc town then rushes through demon horde fight but slows down briefly to have a wierd argument with merchant about wether it should be 5 silver or 5 gold for seemingly no reason before jetting off to him meeting an elf and for some reason having to meet the mayor. This brings me to next issue which is the structure of the story which feels like those follow with your finger puzzles on the back of a cereal box sometimes were they loop all over the place seemingly randomly till they get to the end. These two issues are related to eachother as major and important things in the story are bushed past so quickly that the reader has no idea what's going on half the time or has to keep reading in hopes that at some point things will be explained more clearly. Thanks for the story author I hope you can improve this story to a level where I can enjoy because I always enjoy more kingdom building novels.

Building a Kingdom in the Fantasy World

Yuccas
Not enough ratings
14 Chs

Liked by 7 people

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Replies1
MyIncarnation
MyIncarnationLv3

Great review, very well written and without the need to offend the author. I ended up reading several chapters as well, as I'm a huge fan of kingdom-building, and I have to agree with your review as it described my thoughts.

2yr
Other Reviews
Wyatt_Fullmer
Wyatt_FullmerLv14

I think it’s a fairly decent story so far it is moving a little fast and I would like to see some sort of connection to characters from the village or his summons but other then that I think I would keep reading this

2yr

Yuccas
YuccasAuthor

Reveal spoiler

2yr
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