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bibifoc
bibifocLv42yr
2023-05-02 05:59

good story, good idea. but you use too many time " as you can see", or when you speak to the reader it's weird. thank you for the story, keep going [img=recommend] ( my english too is not good)

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Daoistv38Amp
Daoistv38AmpLv14

I do like the book and I feel that it will get better but I do have a few qualms with it. First off the Grammer of the book can be very annoying at times and it can be hard to know what the author is trying to say or it's simply the grammar mistakes that make it very annoying. There are times where the author uses words way too many times and I hope that they try to mix it up or write it in a different way so that they don't have to keep using instantly all the time. A big thing that bothers me is when the author and Alex repeats the fact that going deeper in the forest is dangerous. We get it the forest is dangerous but I feel that it would be better to just say it once or twice but not constantly or show ways that the deeper parts of the forest is dangerous. Another thing is that it feels as if the world isn't entirely fleshed out and I hope that the author would take the time to expand the world a bit to give it life. It doesn't have to be huge but maybe get some background characters to talk about things or give small hints about the world around them and how it works. Also please give the other characters some more personality as I feel that they get a bit stale at times but that's just me. That is it from me, other then all of that I feel that the book is pretty amazing and I do enjoy reading it but the mistakes that I listed (Especially the grammar mistakes) make it hard to want to keep reading it. When I see the grammar mistakes I just feel annoyed by it to the point that I want to drop the book and that isn't what I want.

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