First of all, let's get down to business. The novel is good if you are going to ignore unusually short chapters and a repetitive paragraphs (ex. last paragraph of a chapter 10 is first paragraph of chapter 11). A few more problems, but nothing too serious. Good points are many, and I loved all 29 chapters I read. Yes, 29, not 14 which are released by the time of this review. This brings us to the question, why did you abandon the old novel and basically copy pasted it again, just with less chapters? I'd love you to answer and to keep in mind the bad points I mentioned. The novel is good, don't get me wrong, it's just that I want it to be better. Also, if you, author, want peak fiction, I recommend studying human relations, habits, natural behaviors as well as reactions. Basically, psihology. I recommend a book, how to win friends and influence people, it may not bring to light all the points you need, but it will surely make your character writing go from a (generous) 4, to at least 6.
