I like it, but it feels way too inconsistent. It feels like the author had an idea of what the novel would be, but then he completely changed it. Like, why would Eve shower him with so much love if she was going to betray him? It just doesn’t make much sense to me.
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LIKEAlso, please don’t let him forgive his sister. She betrayed him, and it would be more realistic for him to hate her.
It's because she loves him that she has to betray him. I guess it's because I haven't explained this, but when things turn into demons, they lose their rationality and as such, she doesn't want him to become a mindless beast and is currently growing stronger to be able to stop his transformation and maybe cure him. Thanks for the good review though, you brought up a major plot hole for me, and so I'll fix it right now, thank you.
You didn’t explain that at all… in fact, you stated several times that his sister would just kill him when she gets stronger…
WorthyAdversary:It's because she loves him that she has to betray him. I guess it's because I haven't explained this, but when things turn into demons, they lose their rationality and as such, she doesn't want him to become a mindless beast and is currently growing stronger to be able to stop his transformation and maybe cure him. Thanks for the good review though, you brought up a major plot hole for me, and so I'll fix it right now, thank you.
That's when he's talking about the original book, unless I'm tripping and I gotta go change all of that too...
Kw0z:You didn’t explain that at all… in fact, you stated several times that his sister would just kill him when she gets stronger…
Yeah, his father said that he would be brought into confinement or whatever he said, and then he said that his sister would take care of him when she’s stronger, which to me at least, implied that they planned on killing him
WorthyAdversary:That's when he's talking about the original book, unless I'm tripping and I gotta go change all of that too...
Aw no, that's just what their father said, if you reread the 5th chapter, at the bottom, I added 500 words just to address this problem. But, in short, the Sister is actually trying her best to become stronger and then cure him.
Kw0z:Yeah, his father said that he would be brought into confinement or whatever he said, and then he said that his sister would take care of him when she’s stronger, which to me at least, implied that they planned on killing him
Idk, though… her deceiving him the entire time just doesn’t feel right to me. I would prefer if he just didn’t forgive her
WorthyAdversary:Aw no, that's just what their father said, if you reread the 5th chapter, at the bottom, I added 500 words just to address this problem. But, in short, the Sister is actually trying her best to become stronger and then cure him.
He knows tho, like I said, I changed the 5th chapter at the end, and changed his reaction to her when she doesn't answer his question. Just to save you the trouble of reading one line, I'll just post it here: "I never got an answer in words, but her feelings that were being transmitted over our mental connection were more than enough." So, he knows that she at least has something planned, and that she still loves him and stuff.
Kw0z:Idk, though… her deceiving him the entire time just doesn’t feel right to me. I would prefer if he just didn’t forgive her
Hm… ok, I’ll probably take a break from the novel until more chapters are out, and then try reading it again
WorthyAdversary:He knows tho, like I said, I changed the 5th chapter at the end, and changed his reaction to her when she doesn't answer his question. Just to save you the trouble of reading one line, I'll just post it here: "I never got an answer in words, but her feelings that were being transmitted over our mental connection were more than enough." So, he knows that she at least has something planned, and that she still loves him and stuff.
Ok, maybe, just maybe, I can convince you to like it again by then...
Kw0z:Hm… ok, I’ll probably take a break from the novel until more chapters are out, and then try reading it again
