webnovel
Kofi_
Kofi_Lv31yr
2023-07-18 21:03

I'm not really hooked at the first few chapters and even at the synopsis tbh but i keep on reading and realized that the real start of the story was from the moment Allurik was banished from the empire. The world background is good, character design was also great, and the story develops gradually. My only problem was the long paragraphs so you should work on that. Overall, this is a good read. Keep writing author!

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
ricebucket0_0
ricebucket0_0Lv14

I've read up to 20 ch and overall, it was quite a good read. Typical fantasy story of the chosen one who starts off as a weakling but later found himself bearing a greater power instead. The pacing is nice and the author did a good job with the world building. Author do spend his time setting up the whole background of the story. Personally, the only downside that disturbs my experience here is the word flow. Choice of words tend to make reread three times and simply translate them as to my understanding. Long sentences that could've been broken to 3-5 short ones was instead rammed together with forced commas or sometimes even worse, with none of it. The story sounded like the first draft when author write everything in his mind and simply clicked the upload button without rereading them.I understand that this is written from a first pov, like imagining myself as the mc doing this and that as a part of its daily life but most of the times, there's too many mundane actions that could've just been skipped. Ex: I eat this then drink this then after finish eating I take a bath then pack my belongings, open the door, bla bla bla. This one is personal, it is hard for me to remember the names of the characters that may be relevant like the dean, talented sister, or the brother. And the characters in the story sounds bland to me like they sounded more like an npc with no emotions. They may be described as angry or sad or what but nothing tells me about their feelings other than that single 'angry' word. In conclusion, the story is actually good, but just need some editings. Stability Update is excellent, updated daily, world background enough not too much not too little and the story development is okay, it's actually quite slow for me but still bearable.Lastly, keep up the good work. I hope this won't discourage you from writing more!

Related Stories

The Runic Alchemist

Ben, a postgraduate chemistry student, envisions a future where science unlocks the secrets of the universe. But fate has other plans. In a sudden twist, Ben dies and awakens in a strange new world, reborn as a five-year-old boy named Damian Sunblade. Damian's joy at being part of a noble family is short-lived. His family, valuing gold over blood, sells him off to another noble house to be groomed as a homemaker husband, a mere pawn in their political games. Struggling with his new reality and the remnants of his past life’s knowledge, Damian refuses to succumb to his fate. In his new household, Damian discovers that this world is governed by magic circles, Runic symbols wielding immense power. Driven by his scientific curiosity, Damian begins to experiment. Applying the laws of physics to the Rune symbols, he deciphers their secrets and invents his own unique form of magic. However, The family that bought him has their own plans for him, seeing Damian as a valuable tool to enhance their power. But Damian, ever the independent spirit, has dreams beyond servitude. He longs for freedom, a place to call his own—a life where he can use his talents without restraint. And so Damian devises a daring plan to escape. His journey is fraught with danger and intrigue, as he navigates a world filled with mystical creatures, powerful adversaries, and ancient secrets. Along the way, he forges alliances and battles enemies, all while refining his magical and scientific skills. In "The Runic Alchemist," follow Damian Sunblade’s epic quest for independence and self-discovery. Witness his transformation from a forsaken child to a formidable Alchemist, determined to carve out an extraordinary future for himself in a world teeming with infinite possibilities. ***** Author Note : Hello! GlaringError here! As I have already mentioned in my author review I am restating it here since I am getting tons of comments about it, that I am more of a reader myself than a writer, I made this novel in an attempt to capture my fantasy world residing in my mind into words.. Writing is new for me.. The premise of my novel is inspired by many great works that I have loved over the years. And some elements I have in my novel that are slightly similar to them but it's just the skeleton of it, the real meat of the plot is entirely my own cooking. Some of the influence that is more noticeable is from The Runesmith (By Kuropon), The King's Avatar (By Butterfly Blue) and Shadow Slave (By Guiltythree). I have immense respect for these legends and I can only hope to follow in their footsteps. To all those who comment just by judging the name, at least give it a chance before letting your opinions known. Thank you.

GlaringError · Fantasy
4.5
345 Chs

Re: Evolution Online

On just another normal Monday, a new virtual reality game called "Evolution Online" launched out of nowhere and took the world by storm. People were blown away by the game’s hyper-realistic features and endless adventures. Everyone from small companies to big corporations and governments scrambled to get a foothold on this mysterious video game. But what they didn't know was that this game was actually a tutorial for the upcoming apocalypse that was about to hit the planet! The game was a precursor to the Earth's first evolution, where mana was going to be unleashed into the real world! Liam, a high school student who had faced numerous setbacks in his life, turned to 'Evolution Online' in the hope of changing his fate, but instead, he got trapped in the game's twisted world, and things went from bad to worse. When the apocalypse finally arrived, Liam barely managed to escape, but his situation didn't improve. Along with millions of others, he died a miserable death, unable to fight back and filled with regret. However, Liam's story didn't end there. He found himself inexplicably transported back in time before everything started! Armed with the knowledge of what was to come, Liam was determined to become the strongest and most powerful player, unleashing destruction upon the world that had ruined him before! This time, things were going to be different! ******************* Discord Link for chatting with author and character art https://discord.gg/XS7gWScKn8

Yolohy · Fantasy
4.8
1378 Chs