webnovel
Astronix
AstronixLv11yr
2023-07-15 20:28

I read the first 5 chapters. I like it so far, especially because your novel is a contrast to the style of novel I'm learning to write. Your novel has a more serious tone, I would say even more realistic. The detailing of the characters, of the environment, makes the atmosphere much denser and deeper. As much as it's not my reading/writing style, I enjoyed it and will continue to follow your story in the future. Added to collection! It certainly is a story that seems to be very good, but I will try to learn from it too, nice to find this one! My only "criticism" is really something personal, which is the tone, I end up not being a big fan of this more serious way of writing. [img=recommend]

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ricebucket0_0
ricebucket0_0Lv14

I've read up to 20 ch and overall, it was quite a good read. Typical fantasy story of the chosen one who starts off as a weakling but later found himself bearing a greater power instead. The pacing is nice and the author did a good job with the world building. Author do spend his time setting up the whole background of the story. Personally, the only downside that disturbs my experience here is the word flow. Choice of words tend to make reread three times and simply translate them as to my understanding. Long sentences that could've been broken to 3-5 short ones was instead rammed together with forced commas or sometimes even worse, with none of it. The story sounded like the first draft when author write everything in his mind and simply clicked the upload button without rereading them.I understand that this is written from a first pov, like imagining myself as the mc doing this and that as a part of its daily life but most of the times, there's too many mundane actions that could've just been skipped. Ex: I eat this then drink this then after finish eating I take a bath then pack my belongings, open the door, bla bla bla. This one is personal, it is hard for me to remember the names of the characters that may be relevant like the dean, talented sister, or the brother. And the characters in the story sounds bland to me like they sounded more like an npc with no emotions. They may be described as angry or sad or what but nothing tells me about their feelings other than that single 'angry' word. In conclusion, the story is actually good, but just need some editings. Stability Update is excellent, updated daily, world background enough not too much not too little and the story development is okay, it's actually quite slow for me but still bearable.Lastly, keep up the good work. I hope this won't discourage you from writing more!

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