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Review Detail of Eclipse_Gate12 in Jack Hanma: True might [reworked]

Review detail

Eclipse_Gate12
Eclipse_Gate12Lv41yrEclipse_Gate12

Writing quality 5 star Story development 4 star Character design 3 star Updating stability 4 star World background 3 stars. Overall 3.8 1) Let's talk about the writing quality, I haven't seen any major mistakes till now. The writing style is good, I don't need the Chinese reference anymore, They are hard to understand. Ohh and You Didn't write like that so it is a 3-star from me already. No mistakes with "HE" OR "SHE" so an extra Star and the last one because I liked it. (4-stars) 2) The Story development is good, nothing to say more as the original Baki series has a good plot but overpowered characters without magic. I am thinking what will happen if you introduce Magic to them?. The pacing is good, some slice of life will be good, to see how he manages his girlfriend as he is so tall already. (4 stars) Because of some small things, if you go like this, it will be finished before 140 chapters. 3) The character design is good but you have never gone into the details of how he was born or how he came to be. I know that jack's Mom's story is tragic but it will also give depth to his character. You are not using the system to its full potential. Don't get me wrong but you should increase the power level a little in this story, I will talk more about it in the World background. So even if you don't want to make him too powerful, you can just modify his body in a way like the skin "Hardening" it won't need too much XP or soul. I will give 4-star to it I am sad that the system is not used Properly. 4) The updating stability is cool, you post daily if you don't have some work or something. (4-Stars). 5)World background! Why are you only in Japan? It's a whole world man, and Baki's world is super interesting you should make Jack explore a little about it. This world has so much potential, Introduce some special abilities or mutation to say. Increase the strong characters, increase the mystery, and increase the chaos. That way the MC will feel threatened and he will have to use his potential to its full extent. Introduce a mass meteor strike with small but a lot of meteors falling all over earth giving the humans and animals some special abilities/mutations and it is totally possible. Until now a human that came from the Jurassic era and a clone of Myamoto mysashi with is real soul in it has been shown, a hag who practices dark arts. I don't know if there is more but I have not finished it yet. I have given it 3stars and honestly I want to give it 2-stars so that you can do something about it. Their is so much that can be done. I wrote too much for the first time. It's 2645 words long..

Jack Hanma: True might [reworked]

SaishoMysteriarch

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SaishoMysteriarch
SaishoMysteriarchAuthorSaishoMysteriarch

thanks for the detailed review I really wanted one for while now😅. now onto some points you made first I will have to disappoint you because other then giving a power boost to some characters I really don't plan on doing anything crazy with this story. I have seen it time and time again people having grand visions for their story but just end up writing them selfs into a corner and dropping, I don't want that, what I wrote in the synopses is what I planned to deliver. I started this on a whim after seeing that I had some free time on hand, I didn't know if even had any talent for writing or not If you would have read the first few chapters before me editing them I'm sure that you wouldn't have given me even 3 stars when it came to writing quality. My first priority is continuing this story until Jack fights Yujiro It may be 20 chapters later or 10 but That is the goal I put for my self when I started this. But I well not just leave you on a bad note I also agree with you that the world of Baki is a big one with many interesting things in it, So i had the idea of writing non cannon chapters ones that have a self contained story kind like a different time line Where I can do all the carzy stuff you wanted to see without affecting the main story from sending Jack back to the stone age And having him fight pickle's tribe or sending him into space or even have Yuuri be an alien princess to a race of amazonian women all while keeping the plot line of the original story in one piece. I don't know when I well do something like that but I had the idea for a while now maybe after the Yujiro versus Jack fight or maybe I well be to burnt out by then to do any of it I honestly don't know, I guess we will just wait and see. And again think you for the awesome review.

Eclipse_Gate12
Eclipse_Gate12Lv4Eclipse_Gate12

hehe, No problem, As a reader, it is an obligation to motivate the author too. I like your story very much! Keep up the good work! Pickel's arc. and the Chinese tournament arc was dope, I am waiting to see how you will depict/write it.

SaishoMysteriarch:thanks for the detailed review I really wanted one for while now😅. now onto some points you made first I will have to disappoint you because other then giving a power boost to some characters I really don't plan on doing anything crazy with this story. I have seen it time and time again people having grand visions for their story but just end up writing them selfs into a corner and dropping, I don't want that, what I wrote in the synopses is what I planned to deliver. I started this on a whim after seeing that I had some free time on hand, I didn't know if even had any talent for writing or not If you would have read the first few chapters before me editing them I'm sure that you wouldn't have given me even 3 stars when it came to writing quality. My first priority is continuing this story until Jack fights Yujiro It may be 20 chapters later or 10 but That is the goal I put for my self when I started this. But I well not just leave you on a bad note I also agree with you that the world of Baki is a big one with many interesting things in it, So i had the idea of writing non cannon chapters ones that have a self contained story kind like a different time line Where I can do all the carzy stuff you wanted to see without affecting the main story from sending Jack back to the stone age And having him fight pickle's tribe or sending him into space or even have Yuuri be an alien princess to a race of amazonian women all while keeping the plot line of the original story in one piece. I don't know when I well do something like that but I had the idea for a while now maybe after the Yujiro versus Jack fight or maybe I well be to burnt out by then to do any of it I honestly don't know, I guess we will just wait and see. And again think you for the awesome review.