The story seems Intresting... But I'd say there are gramtical mistakes like these 'turned ti her' I suppose 'to' should be suppose int he second chapter 2nd last phragraph. 'loved for over a couple of million years' in the first chapter I suppose it's 'lived' anx other then that knowing why so the indication of when someone is speaking u should add "-" Meaning if I want to make an indication that someone spoke while writing write "hello, how are u?" the guest said. As it indicates what the person said :) and I think having a few things as thriller in it would help alot u ahve potential but at some parts I can't seem to find the energy and make little convos in between people while writing to show one's personality. As It seems he's learning things make his personality unique the way he looks unique Orr u could do is a simple elgent way for the Mc is make him commenly unique making him someone that others don't see much in its truly ur choice and bam next thing he seemes to be the strongest holding the legacy have some background story tooo. And I think ull do amazing:) good luck fighting!! Thx for reading author-shii Dear, author-nim.
Billyml
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