Review Detail of UndeadProgenitor in Haki User in Naruto

The premise of the story is honestly promising. There is room for improvement. One such was is to remove the childishness from the description of the protagonist’ actions. Ex: I picked up a rock and threw it at his balls. It would be best to say “ I picked up a rock and tossed it at his groin” minor changes, but adds a whole new tone. There’s also the fact that the characters’ manner of speech are much too mature for their age. (All those are observations from the the first two chapters)