webnovel
sasegura
saseguraLv110mth
2024-04-26 09:12

I did notice the rewriting note, but maybe there are some pointers: The story it's interesting, however, the MC has some inconsistencies, being an Engineer with Military expertise and especially an American should know some strategic points that need to be prioritized: 1) Intelligence it's key, also it's usually divided into inner intelligence agencies or even has some specialized, take the USA as an example: CIA, Homeland Security, FBI, and some others from the Armed Services, Police used to build their own too, UK have MI5 and MI6, among others. 2) Technology building: DARPA: development of air, water ships, or land transports, mostly secretly, in deep underground facilities or inconspicuous places, also helps in war times, you can check: China Iron Wall project, Sweeden underground facilities, among others. 3) It calls my attention to how worldbuilding establishes waterways across the Continent, but MC prefers railways and it's not wrong to do, so if you want to strengthen your domain, waterways transport it's the cheapest because beats the volumes transported, say: 1 container ship can carry up to 24,000 TEUs, this feat can not do it with railroad transports, even double decks it will be kilometers of carriers cars, the shipbuilding industry very important, also helps with strategic industries like submarines or high altitude airplanes, very useful in spying or covert and shadow ops. 4) Infrastructure, Oil (chemicals), and electricity: strategic keys to civilization developments. About firearms: there's a myth usually in novels: powder invention doesn't mean instant development of their use in war, it took hundreds of years to see like that, even their use in proficient ways took nearly 200 years, from muskets to revolvers or rifles, it need nitrocellulose, even from cannon balls to artillery shells, also: even in the US civil war the use of balloons was normal, it took almost 50 years to find the better way to aerial use of surveillance: the airplane, and it took long time to figure out all comes to wing angle to help the uplift, to start flying.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies1
MaxLostchild
MaxLostchildAuthor

I will keep this in mind. Thank you.

Other Reviews
AngelKnightZed
AngelKnightZedLv14

I have to drop a review here since I replied in a different review, which might not be read unless readers open that other review's threads. Take note of the "anti-hero" tag. As I replied in another review, I am unsure if anti-hero meant to intentionally act against common "hero" tropes, or a type of villain that does what he does to survive, even at the cost of being hated. i mention this because of other reviews complaining about the MC, "being made into a puppet", "uncaring of family", being cold-hearted, stupid or foolish. My retrospect of this is that I noticed that the side-characters and world background is written to be more cunning/intelligent/motivated, much more than the supposed MC -- now why are the other characters written in such a way, that clearly shows the author has the ability to also make the MC act "more intelligent/less dumb"... as if it was done one purpose, as if the MC is being forced to a lower importance of the story than the rest of the world... It seemed suspicious to me at least, in fact it kind of weaves an "anti-plot-armor" vibe; combine this with the "slice-of-life" tag, that hints to readers that this will be a SLOW-going storybuilding, makes me anticipate what this author is trying to cook up -- this is NOT a story where the reader is spoon-fed convenient plot devices, where everything always goes in MC's favor -- I admit that it is obvious that the MC is foolishly flaunting his advantages (inventions and tech, that gets stolen or manipulated from him), but it is delivered in such an obvious way, suspiciously obvious... TL:DR - the author writes the background world and characters, in a very rich and intelligent way, showing that the author is capable of making really good story-development. Then why is the MC so "dumb"? Is it on purpose? Food for thought.

Related Stories

Affinity:Chaos

Check out my other book as well Lunar:Secret Guardians ******************* "Grey, elemental affinity, zero" The Elder announced the result loudly On hearing this, it was like a bolt of lightning struck Grey, he stood there dumbfounded and just stared at the Elder. Shocked voices could be heard from the people and there was some which were also filled with scorn. Grey stood dazed amidst all the noises without any reactions. One word was constantly reverberating in his head, 'How?'. 'Why, why did this happen to me?' Grey asked himself over and over again **************** Unbeknownst to Grey, something greater lies in wait in his body.... *************** Check out the book, leave a review after reading, and also your powerstones. Hope you enjoy this, and Thanks for reading ^_^ P.S: When I started this book I had zero writing experience, so the first chapters aren't that great, although, my writing quality has improved over time. Also, English isn't my first language, so there are some instances where my choice of words are not good enough for what I'm trying to portray. A heads up, the book will be using a medieval setting. My world building is not the best, but it gets better over time, so bear with me on the early chapters! P.S: Cover art not mine I just edited it. If you're the owner and want me to take it down you can notify me. Other novel: Lunar:Secret Guardians Check it out as well! Discord Server: https://discord.gg/gs68a4ZzaN

Springs_Halo · Fantasy
4.3
1793 Chs

I AM A MAGE BUT WITH MILF SYSTEM

****EXTREMELY SMUTTY **CAUTION: CONTAINS ELEMENT OF TABOO, Julian, the son of Duke Alden and the grandson of Grand Duke Augustus stood Infront of the crystalline ball that emanated mana. The crystal absorbed his mana and started glowing with purplish hue, with a sparks of lightning. "Yes, I have unlocked Lightning Affinity," Julian said, a spark of excitement lighting up his blue eyes. Suddenly, the ball began absorbing too much mana, Julian's eyes widened in horror as the energy swirled out of control, crackling with an intensity that was and terrifying. Just as he realized the danger, the ball erupted in a blinding flash, a shockwave of power surging outward. Julian wasn't hurt, but he felt a strange sensation as a dark mist swirled in front of him. Suddenly, he saw a strange entity, a shadowy figure, slip into his forehead. Then, Julian heard an unfamiliar sound echo in his head: “WELCOME TO THE MILF SYSTEM.” Connecting....Success Initializing.......Success “FUCK THE MILFS AND GET STRONGER, CONQUER THE MILFS, CONQUER THE WORLD.” , The voice said Curiosity piqued, Julian quickly asked, "Can you tell me more about the MILF SYSTEM?" The voice continued, "Sure, The MILF SYSTEM will help you reach unimaginable power as a mage. You will need to complete the tasks assigned to you and earn points." ********************* MILF SYSTEM - TASK POINTS CHART Handjob - 10 Points Blowjob - 20 Points Sex - 75 Points Creampie - 100 Points Threesome - 200 Points Spank - 15 Points Anal - 150 Points ********************* Julian grinned, excitement bubbling up inside him. “Well, if that’s what I should do to be stronger, I guess we don’t have any other choice,” he declared, determination shining in his blue eyes ************** [Huge Harem] [In Depth R-18] [Hardcore Fetishes] [Extreme Sex] [Gore] [Big Boobs] [MILF] [Best Girls] [Anal] [Threesome] [Foursome] [N-some] [Big ass] [Impregnation] Some smut scene may contain: [Spitting] [Slapping] [BDSM] [No NTR - No sharing - No mind control - No drugs or potions that influence the girls A lot of Netori and Stealing] Contains long and detailed smut.

author_210 · Fantasy
4.3
355 Chs