if it's OP you're looking for, well you'll be served. I like the story and all but something bothers me with the interactions between the characters. Other than that 5☆ I eagerly await follow-up.
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Someone else ha already commented that the characters seemed a little lifeless. I will be trying to fix this as I improve my own writing. Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to follow me along this journey
if that were to be fixed over time... you just have to think about the character, get into my mind, try to feel what he feels, try to put yourself in his shoes in all the situations he faces. if you do it, surely little by little your characters will begin to come to life. and instead of you writing a story that you already had planned, you will see how the moment will come where your characters will direct their own story. And you will feel fascinated to write it and read it.
