Review Detail of Dadevilslastcry in Adventures of a sex maniac

I'm sorry to say but there are lot of errors in the story. First the grammar, second the usage of marks, third please build a sentence shorter and complete thought. Do not use emojis in a story to show emotion/action such as laughing. Third, uhm flow of your story, it's confusing. fourth, this book needed a major editing. I know this probably the first story of the author but there are still rooms for improvement. Sorry for my criticism. I believe this story have a potential after the edited version. I also suggest to use Grammarly for grammar check. I'm sorry.