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Chase_Xavier_123
Chase_Xavier_123Lv32yr
2022-05-01 23:53

That's a great story, would love to read further. Writing Quality - It's not bad but it's not a piece of well established English literature. Don't expect it, it's unrealistic to think i can read those without sleeping. The story keeps you reading cause language is light. What's making the story feel heavy are the emotions described. there are some mistake, i would suggest the author to check them. the grammar was good, but the travel from city A to city S was confusing slightly. Story development - It slowly transitions, like it feels like a slow song playing. I loved that author took time to show rebirth rather than doing it in one chapter. Character design - Though i won't say anything about Ning since her character is new and info given was small to say anything except for her depression, sadness which she tries to mask. (should be hard cause the way she lash out to Feng, either ling is too dense to notice it or its her character flaw (flaws are okay it's not authors fault every character is flawed in a way.)) Feng as the story says he is in denial that Ning means anything to him he tries to help her either way. He is helpful (too helpful), as we see how he saves Kai even his own mother was late. Ling and her husband, Should i hate them or like them? I can only do one 👀, i will wait to decide. but upto now ling is being a good best friend though. but compared to yuan she is nothing. updating Stability - Just putting one chapter out there needs, idea, outline, writing it, procastinating whilst finding character names for new characters, lots of reasearch, editing, grammar check, and courage to put it out. 🎉 try your best author you are doing great. World background - It's simple as story is done in modern times,a little bit work with how you define place of scene happening. Rest was too good the nova and the old lady this stands out compared to other rebirth reincarnation novels. Give it try people the story won't disappoint 😁.

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MayDreamer
MayDreamerAuthor

Thank you so much for such a lengthy review, for understanding my point and for all the advice I really needed them. Also thank you for understanding the hard work as a writer we have to go through. I will try my best to make this novel better and better. Also, I really enjoyed reading your comments 😁

Other Reviews
koshi_
koshi_Lv4

Before I write my review, I would like to say something about the review that the author has made. Can I say I'm confused wheather I should laugh or applaud at your bravery? Your review is both hilarious and courageous at the same time! And now, here is my opinion:- Update stability — daily. So here goes the 5 stars. World background — I'll give here a 5 stars. The story has taken place in the modern time of China, and author has looked into the small details such as bowing heads, and using words like baba, ge, and so on that indicates the Chinese culture. Story development — The author has created some nice twists and plots here. I'm very curious about Ning's condition. One moment she is happy and at another moment, she is tormented by something, I wonder why? And why Feng used to dream about her suicide? Are they some kind of fated lovers or something? And that senior who bullies Ning, what kind of relation he shares with the MC... So many questions, but of course it'll be revealed only by the time. So it's a 5 stars for me. Character design— That's the best part of this story! And absolutely 5 stars here! Ling, the best friend of MC seems very fun loving cool personality. She is extremely protective of MC as well. But how she was guiltstruck in the initial chapters (before the time-travel) makes me wary of her. I hope this time Feng will be able to stop her from doing something bad. Feng, the male lead.— He is likable so far, and I have high expectations from him as he have to save not only the MC but also other side characters from drowning into the grief. Yuan has to be my favourite character in this book! Even I like him a lot, probably more than the main characters! He has a nice sense of humour, and he reads others mind like no one else. Ning, the main character. What can I say about her except I want to protect her so badly. This fragile girl carries so many layr of mysteries around her. Lastly the character I hate with a passion is Taotao guy. I hope he gets what he deserves. He is so evil. But I can't put all the blame on him, since it seems like his mother has made him the spoilt one that he is. Here every character is mysterious one way or another except Yuan. And Hua Ming, is he going to be back? What about Kai? has his journey ended already? Writing quality— The author writes in easy language that carries strong emotions. She knows how to make the readers understand the deepness of her words. The author is good at making the readers feel empathy for the characters. So 5 stars again. Now, the flip side here, No one is perfect grammatically, so there is no point in commenting on that. But I would say there are few typos here and there, it would be good if the author re-reads her work once in a while, that would help her to find those typos as it is not easy to spot all the mistakes at once. And sometimes the author ends up writing the gestures of the characters in the middle of the dialogue, for example, in chapter 20, there is a dialogue– ["You *looks at the boys* make me feel safe..."] Instead of writing the action of her eyes in the middle of dialogue, you could write it like ["You..." she looked at the boys and continued, "...guys make me feel safe."] This is just a suggestion though. you are writing two books and giving daily updates in both of the books is already great enough. So, no pressure, just write the way you feel is right. Well done on coming up with another great idea of the book. Some day I'll come back to read and reveal the mysteries of this book. For now, I am excusing myself. Happy writing! Also, if I said something extra, sorry not sorry 😉

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