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Stormzz
StormzzLv132yr
2022-05-01 05:06

The story does a good job of teasing the reader with an interesting premise. We're given detailed character descriptions, although I dislike the author's choice to tell them to us directly in informative notes, rather than weaving them into the story. The writing quality could be improved with better punctuation and grammar.

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MayDreamer
MayDreamerAuthor

Thank you for the review and the suggestion🙏

Other Reviews
koshi_
koshi_Lv4

Before I write my review, I would like to say something about the review that the author has made. Can I say I'm confused wheather I should laugh or applaud at your bravery? Your review is both hilarious and courageous at the same time! And now, here is my opinion:- Update stability — daily. So here goes the 5 stars. World background — I'll give here a 5 stars. The story has taken place in the modern time of China, and author has looked into the small details such as bowing heads, and using words like baba, ge, and so on that indicates the Chinese culture. Story development — The author has created some nice twists and plots here. I'm very curious about Ning's condition. One moment she is happy and at another moment, she is tormented by something, I wonder why? And why Feng used to dream about her suicide? Are they some kind of fated lovers or something? And that senior who bullies Ning, what kind of relation he shares with the MC... So many questions, but of course it'll be revealed only by the time. So it's a 5 stars for me. Character design— That's the best part of this story! And absolutely 5 stars here! Ling, the best friend of MC seems very fun loving cool personality. She is extremely protective of MC as well. But how she was guiltstruck in the initial chapters (before the time-travel) makes me wary of her. I hope this time Feng will be able to stop her from doing something bad. Feng, the male lead.— He is likable so far, and I have high expectations from him as he have to save not only the MC but also other side characters from drowning into the grief. Yuan has to be my favourite character in this book! Even I like him a lot, probably more than the main characters! He has a nice sense of humour, and he reads others mind like no one else. Ning, the main character. What can I say about her except I want to protect her so badly. This fragile girl carries so many layr of mysteries around her. Lastly the character I hate with a passion is Taotao guy. I hope he gets what he deserves. He is so evil. But I can't put all the blame on him, since it seems like his mother has made him the spoilt one that he is. Here every character is mysterious one way or another except Yuan. And Hua Ming, is he going to be back? What about Kai? has his journey ended already? Writing quality— The author writes in easy language that carries strong emotions. She knows how to make the readers understand the deepness of her words. The author is good at making the readers feel empathy for the characters. So 5 stars again. Now, the flip side here, No one is perfect grammatically, so there is no point in commenting on that. But I would say there are few typos here and there, it would be good if the author re-reads her work once in a while, that would help her to find those typos as it is not easy to spot all the mistakes at once. And sometimes the author ends up writing the gestures of the characters in the middle of the dialogue, for example, in chapter 20, there is a dialogue– ["You *looks at the boys* make me feel safe..."] Instead of writing the action of her eyes in the middle of dialogue, you could write it like ["You..." she looked at the boys and continued, "...guys make me feel safe."] This is just a suggestion though. you are writing two books and giving daily updates in both of the books is already great enough. So, no pressure, just write the way you feel is right. Well done on coming up with another great idea of the book. Some day I'll come back to read and reveal the mysteries of this book. For now, I am excusing myself. Happy writing! Also, if I said something extra, sorry not sorry 😉

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