I tried to reach out personally as you requested this review, but it seems I can no longer do that. I think what really brought this review down for me was the writing quality. Present/Past/Future tenses are almost always completely messed up. I had trouble looking over a lot of grammar and sentence structure mistakes as well. My first impression of this work was the opener felt bland and did not catch my interest. The action of the game felt lacking and you kept repeating I chanted to activate this spell. I think it would be simpler to just have the system say [spell] activated and go into the description of the spell as it is happening to the MC. It was all of these inconsistencies that made it difficult to immerse myself into the action as a reader. I also wrote down the dialogue between the MC and his girlfriend felt like they were both barely fluent in English. I really wanted to not struggle with these above points, but unfortunately we are on an English platform and these are the basics of the basics. I hope to see updated versions of your work in the future.
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