one of the best fanfics , well author heed my advice add a proper synopsis add satarous pic as pp of the story your eenglish s good enough so don't mention that it isn't your first language etc. as it drives away the viewers like i had saved you story for a while just checked it today so some changes and ot will be a banger

While the start of the story seemed good with his wishes, the other chapters just seem to be extremely forced and have barely any development. the grammar isn't good but that's understandable. I'd recommend that you don't just throw in a bunch of girls then say they are a part of you're harem. you have to understand the character that you want to add, cause ophis wouldn't just join a harem it's not how she is as a character. you don't have to listen to what I say just some advice. I hope you're story goes well, I just can't read something that has a pocket harem.

Writer warned us of the level of grammar which can be mostly overlooked but some of it will confuse you, being unable to decipher the meaning behind what is being said. Adds a lot of characters from fanfics with no true background to them. seems unnecessary when you already have a plethora of women from Canon stories to choose from. In 8 chapters the MC has bumped into 3 women. which I find really stupid. there are a million ways to start a convo with a girl. Other than that, the story seems fun and the powers can be used in new and refreshing ways if done right. The story might want to slow down with the overwhelming amount of women being introduced way too quickly, doing so would help flesh out these new characters.

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FTC

⠀⠸⡘⢄⠓⠖⡊⠑⠠⠔⠀⠆⣴⢩⣎⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠓⠐⠃⢘⠔⡵⣷⡀⢸⢢⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⣿⡟⢷⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣔⣳⡯⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⡄⡥⡀⠸⠑⢀⠀⡠⠊⢠⡇⢙⠂⠠⡗⣶⡜⠒⢄⢠⠂⡠⢇⡹⡡⢺⣽⡿⣅⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣁⣴⢟⡻⠻⣯⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⢭⣿ ⠀⠀⣸⢸⣧⠈⠄⠃⣀⣈⡲⠒⠁⡱⠐⠆⢰⡇⠑⠪⢕⣈⠄⠉⢀⠔⢫⠆⣾⡿⢷⣮⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠯⠝⠛⠉⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣏⣀⣙⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⡬⣯⢛⠻ ⠀⠀⡿⡀⢏⠶⡚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣅⢤⡪⡔⢹⠙⣽⡕⢄⠀⠀⢀⠳⢒⣷⣿⣿⢱⡂⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡱⠟⢀⡇⠸⣶⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⡇⡑⠺⡣⠊⠢⠀⠀⠀⠛⢺⠋⡔⠀⢸⡢⠏⠉⠈⠀⠀⠈⢩⣣⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣭⡽⠟⠫⠅⣿⡿⢶⣿⠿⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣧⠈⡠⢈⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢀⠄⢸⠢⡑⢠⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢤⠢⣀⣀⠤⢞⢟⣟⣒⣣⠼⡯⡟⢻⡥⡒ ⠀⠀⣧⠓⡰⡅⡑⠂⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⢉⢀⡜⠀⠏⠢⡑⠘⠀⠀⢠⠋⣴⡿⡿⣿⡔⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⣆⣐⣥⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⠊⣼⣀⣸⣧⣿ ⠀⠀⣟⡌⠈⠾⣔⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠘⠒⠨⢃⢇⠁⡌⠒⠚⠀⠀⣠⣿⣾⡟⣤⣇⠘⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿ ⠀⠀⣻⠈⠢⢀⠈⡖⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠁⠈⠢⠅⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣀⠠⠤⠐⠒⠒⠓⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠐⠒⠒⠒⠤⠤⣀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡟⢰⡿⠻ ⠀⠀⢩⡞⠂⠄⡈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢙⢲⡞⢀⡄⠈⡗⣲ ⠀⠀⡁⠸⡀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢞⡷⣻⡏⢦⠗⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠥⠀⠈⠁⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣯⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠠⠥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡎⠀⠀⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡀⠀⣎⣁⣤⣼⣖⣶⣦⣬⣑⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠖⣈⣭⣤⣴⣮⣭⣴⡦⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢧⣤⣾⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣽⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠣⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡠⣾⣿⠟⠀⣿⣿⠛⢽⣿⡿⢿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠧⣾⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⢿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠙⠆⠀⠙⡘⠢⡘⠿⢃⡞⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣫⠳⡙⢿⠃⡚⣻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠴⠐⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢺⡄⠀⠀⢢⡀⠙⠢⢀⣀⠡⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠦⣄⣀⣁⠮⠃⣸⣏⣺⣿⣿⠹⡎⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠣⣷⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠦⠲⠒⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠲⠦⠴⠶⠶⠊⣿⠇⣼⣿⣿⡩⢛⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠀⣿⣿⡏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⣼⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡀⣸⣿⡿⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⠡⠞⠉⠉⠉⠹⢩⠿⠽⠯⠍⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠐⠒⡖⢩⡶⠒⠒⠤⠤⢤⢤⣤⣾⡇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣳⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠎⣾⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⢤⣄⣁⣈⣇⣧⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡇⠀⠄⠠⢀⢸⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⣿⣏⣟⣿⣯⣟⣿⣟⣿⡹⢏⢯⡝⣭⣫⡝⡴⢸⢰⡧⠼⣜⣲⢣⢾⣾⡏⣽⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣾⡿⣟⣿⣿⣯⣉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠓⠚⠒⠛⠾⠗⠛⠚⢓⠿⣿⣿⣷⢟⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⡔⣓⣦⣠⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⠴⡚⢡⢢⣿⠼⠃⢎⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣧⡿⣏⣾⠮⣕⣭⣆⣄⣤⡠⠶⡋⡕⢠⢂⡑⢂⣿⠎⡐⢈⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢭⡞⡵⣋⡿⣙⠶⣣⢿⣿⠁⠦⡑⠒⡌⢂⠆⣌⣿⠃⡐⠄⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢮⡿⡜⡵⣣⡇⠿⣭⢳⣻⡘⢏⠢⢍⡱⠨⠜⣰⡾⠃⠤⠑⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣞⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⢟⠶⣹⠵⣳⣏⠇⠛⣧⣿⡇⢎⡱⢊⠴⡉⢮⡟⢠⠑⠌⢢⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⡽⣞⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⡠⣪⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⢏⡻⣴⣛⣴⣻⠎⡡⠌⢣⢿⠦⡑⢪⠖⣫⠟⢠⠃⢌⡘⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣎⠶⣹⡞⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢌⣲⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⣟⣾⣿⣿⢿⣽⣾⣿⣿⢯⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡹⢭⠯⣝⣭⠷⡾⣟⡧⠐⠨⠌⢫⣗⡡⢃⡾⠅⢃⠢⠈⠄⡂⣿⡏⢾⣿⣿⢿⡿⢼⠟⠁⢳⣿⣿⣿

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Tiếp tục đi, tôi khá thích cuốn tiểu thuyết này nên hãy tiếp tục ra thêm chương pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls

First! I wish you good luck author. [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]