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Sevenfold
SevenfoldLv142yr
2022-04-29 21:17

I'm a fan of both this author's stories. I think the writing itself is great but that makes the subpar grammar stand out more. Some advice I've given to authors like you that use google translate is to look into programs like grammarly, the premium version would help you tremendous because if you improve the grammar of your stories I feel like they would grow even more popular. Something I should note is that the premium version is $30 and I know that's a lot but you have a Patreon so a $30 investment might increase the number of patreons you have, it's up to you but I highly recommend looking into it.

One Piece: Nemo's Golden Lottery

Zeckyll11
4.6
35 Chs

Liked it!

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Other Reviews
Penn1
Penn1Lv1

So far I love it!!! The idea is not new, but I like your approach. Keep up the good work and don't give up!!! [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

2yr

Nanutov55
Nanutov55Lv1

The beginning is very decent and I like the main character and his way of thinking. Let's see what happens in the future, but for now I'm looking forward to the next chapters. Nice to see the work of my countryman on this site!!!!

2yr
Paulo_D_Manoel
Paulo_D_ManoelLv13

new work of the author, very good start, the mc is persistent and not a weakling, and based on the prologue the story will be good, as I'm following your other story this one will be a fine addiction to my library!

2yr
DaoistH0qkyJ
DaoistH0qkyJLv4

so much monologue..so much unnecessary info.. repetition of many lines... if above things can be improved then story will become more fluent and more interesting..

2yr
Zeckyll11
Zeckyll11Author

This is my job, so I have the right!!![img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

2yr
WalterHeisenberg
WalterHeisenbergLv4

Grammar is alright with some mistakes. Grammar is alright with some mistakes. Grammar is alright with some mistakes. Grammar is alright with some mistakes. Grammar is alright with some mistakes. Grammar is alright with some mistakes. Not the best I’ve read but it’s still not bad at the same time, just needs to fix the flow of the dialogue and the character’s personality when talking to the Mc.

2yr
DJkrish
DJkrishLv4

nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice

1yr
zero_m
zero_mLv1

I tried reading this I really did but author chill with the info dumping. Reading this feels like a textbook almost with a ton of sticky notes with thoughts written on them. Like a whole chapter with hundreds of words was just a monolog or explaining night wing and Emma frosts abilities. Giving info is good but once I feel like I have to skim and skip to not be bored to death it's way too much. so in all if you love reading text books definitely but if you like to analyze yourself and watch the action instead of skimming through piles of info then you won't like it.

2yr
Kazvx
KazvxLv1

Put more Chapter ++++++

2yr
Adelmo_Silva
Adelmo_SilvaLv1

The MC is very hypocritical and annoying. His monologues are long and irritating. He thinks he's better than everyone else, when clearly he just depends on a system to get stronger. In a world dominated by greed, corruption, slavery, superior forces, etc., he wants to be the guy with the highest morals. He doesn't like to kill... well, I don't mind that, Luffy himself prefers to avoid it. The problem with the MC is treating everything from a very simple point of view for someone who is living a second life and has experiences of other people.

2yr
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