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Love_C_raft
Love_C_raftLv141yr
2022-12-24 00:52

This feels like a joke, it is hard to read with what feels like cut scenes, and unnecessary POV switch, elaborate more and describe more, less POV switch with more story telling, learn to simplify your work, seriously half of the time I'm trying to figure out who is talking and the other half I'm trying pieces the sentence together. *sigh* what a mess.

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CaveSquirrel
CaveSquirrelAuthor

Seems like I still have a long way in my journey of writing.

Other Reviews
Morororo
MorororoLv3

Unique, and I liked the way you write. And JOJO CULTURAL MENACING. 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Greedy_
Greedy_Lv3
BadTranslator
BadTranslatorLv3

So cool, yet underrated. We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it) Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on) We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (to say it) Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on) We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

GupGodLicker
GupGodLickerLv4

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