Review Detail of whitecrow in Naruto: Gate Of All Dimensions
Review detail
Bonus points for the story not starting at the start of canon, but it reads like a cultivation novel, hitting all the tropes, including, "OMG, he's talking with the genius of our clan, how dare he!" The grammar is good, with little to no mistakes, so there that. However, the mc comes off as an entitled brat in the beginning of the story as he complains for not having a cheat. Obviously, he gets one immediately after, barely giving him any time for character growth. Other than that, he's apparently a super genius, who managed the Tree and Water Walking in a single day. Not to mention he learned the Shadow Clone Jutsu as a 5 year old despite having less Chakra than a genin... yeah.
Naruto: Gate Of All Dimensions
Flame_Spirit
Liked by 80 people
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There's nothing wrong with giving your MC cheats that would help them to become strong, the problem lies with the character and on how you deliver the story with MC having cheats. The readers seek an interesting story to read, so getting an MC with overpowered cheat and is apparently a genius that could learn anything in a day makes it lame (no offense) as it is too overused, that they could search and find the same thing in hundreds of books here in Webnovel (That includes my first book). As Stan Lee said. "Making your character so powerful it could do anything and everything, only makes it uninteresting". I'm not saying that you should stop tho, I'm just hoping you could learn from Stan Lee's wise words as it could help you on writing your future books. Good luck.
Flame_Spirit:Alright, fair enough. I agree that my brain is polluted by reading all kinds of Chinese novels. But.. if you are not a super genius, how are you going to reach the level of Sage of Six Paths, how are you going to get to that level without a cheat? Not a single person born in the Naruto world reached that level except for Indra and Asura(potentially). Basically only people with close ties to the Otsutsuki clan can reach that level( Guy does not count, he would die after using the 8 gates, if not for the plot saving him). As for the cheat, no one is ''cheating'' more than Naruto and Sasuke: Naruto basically practiced to the Kage-level by himself and then he got boosted by Kurama to ''Above Kage-level'' then after that he got another power-up out of thin air by Hagoromo... and reached the Sage of Six paths level at age of 17.. As for Sasuke, he got the MS and the EMS all by Itachi's planning, after that he got another power-up out of thin air, same like Naruto... Even the MC of my fic is unlikely to reach that level at such a young age,, not to mention upgrading 2 or 3 levels out of thin air in 1 year time span.
Alright, fair enough. I agree that my brain is polluted by reading all kinds of Chinese novels. But.. if you are not a super genius, how are you going to reach the level of Sage of Six Paths, how are you going to get to that level without a cheat? Not a single person born in the Naruto world reached that level except for Indra and Asura(potentially). Basically only people with close ties to the Otsutsuki clan can reach that level( Guy does not count, he would die after using the 8 gates, if not for the plot saving him). As for the cheat, no one is ''cheating'' more than Naruto and Sasuke: Naruto basically practiced to the Kage-level by himself and then he got boosted by Kurama to ''Above Kage-level'' then after that he got another power-up out of thin air by Hagoromo... and reached the Sage of Six paths level at age of 17.. As for Sasuke, he got the MS and the EMS all by Itachi's planning, after that he got another power-up out of thin air, same like Naruto... Even the MC of my fic is unlikely to reach that level at such a young age,, not to mention upgrading 2 or 3 levels out of thin air in 1 year time span.
Your MC being a genius isn't bad, he is the Main Character of your story, so he has have something going for himself. However, learning both Tree and Water Walking within a single day of accessing his chakra puts him on a pedestal of his own. This implies that he should practically have no problem mastering almost any jutsu in the future as long as he has the necessary chakra. From a certain viewpoint, this could already be considered a cheat of its own. As for him having a cheat, that's perfectly fine. Again, he is the MC of the story, so him having something that distinguishes him from others and makes him special is A-Okay. My critique about it is the way it was handed to him. You started the story by showcasing that the MC is not only talented, but also a hard worker despite his young age. The move he pulled out at in the opening is by no means easy, and genins, maybe even chunins, might struggle with it. That's a great start and draws the readers by promising them a talented MC with a bright future. The next scene, however, you have him complaining that he doesn't have a bloodline. He kinda comes off as if he is entitled, like a spoiled brat. He already got a second change at life, so asking for more is... a character flaw, so to say. But that's not bad! A character having flaws is okay, because that's humane. That flaw could became part of his character that defines him, or he could outgrow it in the future. The very next scene he even shows some growth as he resolves himself to become someone special even if he wasn't born with some stupid gift. That was great! Amazing even. First chapter and you are already showing the MC isn't some robot with a fixes personality and could grow as a character. And immediately after he gets a cheat, diminishing the value of the previous scene. Again, having a cheat is not bad. It was the way it was handed to him right after he made his resolve, which pretty much nulled his character growth.
Flame_Spirit:Alright, fair enough. I agree that my brain is polluted by reading all kinds of Chinese novels. But.. if you are not a super genius, how are you going to reach the level of Sage of Six Paths, how are you going to get to that level without a cheat? Not a single person born in the Naruto world reached that level except for Indra and Asura(potentially). Basically only people with close ties to the Otsutsuki clan can reach that level( Guy does not count, he would die after using the 8 gates, if not for the plot saving him). As for the cheat, no one is ''cheating'' more than Naruto and Sasuke: Naruto basically practiced to the Kage-level by himself and then he got boosted by Kurama to ''Above Kage-level'' then after that he got another power-up out of thin air by Hagoromo... and reached the Sage of Six paths level at age of 17.. As for Sasuke, he got the MS and the EMS all by Itachi's planning, after that he got another power-up out of thin air, same like Naruto... Even the MC of my fic is unlikely to reach that level at such a young age,, not to mention upgrading 2 or 3 levels out of thin air in 1 year time span.
Well.. I thought about it and came to the conclusion that you are completely correct. Every time I see this comment get more and more likes, it feels like I get ''face slapped' as they say in Chinese novels. Don't know wether to cry or laugh xD But at this point in the story it's impossible to change, so I'll use this story as a practice for my next Naruto Fanfic. Already got a lot of ideas , next time ill just give the MC a very small cheat and let him truly get stronger with his own efforts and knowledge of the plot! There really are a lot of ways to get to the Sage of 6 Paths level and beyond, just with the plot knowledge and creative mind of a modern person. Little sneak peak: Next novel MC is the same age as Minato, no harem,
whitecrow:Your MC being a genius isn't bad, he is the Main Character of your story, so he has have something going for himself. However, learning both Tree and Water Walking within a single day of accessing his chakra puts him on a pedestal of his own. This implies that he should practically have no problem mastering almost any jutsu in the future as long as he has the necessary chakra. From a certain viewpoint, this could already be considered a cheat of its own. As for him having a cheat, that's perfectly fine. Again, he is the MC of the story, so him having something that distinguishes him from others and makes him special is A-Okay. My critique about it is the way it was handed to him. You started the story by showcasing that the MC is not only talented, but also a hard worker despite his young age. The move he pulled out at in the opening is by no means easy, and genins, maybe even chunins, might struggle with it. That's a great start and draws the readers by promising them a talented MC with a bright future. The next scene, however, you have him complaining that he doesn't have a bloodline. He kinda comes off as if he is entitled, like a spoiled brat. He already got a second change at life, so asking for more is... a character flaw, so to say. But that's not bad! A character having flaws is okay, because that's humane. That flaw could became part of his character that defines him, or he could outgrow it in the future. The very next scene he even shows some growth as he resolves himself to become someone special even if he wasn't born with some stupid gift. That was great! Amazing even. First chapter and you are already showing the MC isn't some robot with a fixes personality and could grow as a character. And immediately after he gets a cheat, diminishing the value of the previous scene. Again, having a cheat is not bad. It was the way it was handed to him right after he made his resolve, which pretty much nulled his character growth.
Firstly, there are many options to strengthen your mc without turning fan fiction into Chinese wuxia and cultivation. (give him the bloodline of Uzumaki and Uchiha, this is already a terrible force, give him 10-20 years of time before the canon, he will be able to defeat Madara, you need to be taught everything!?) and secondly, you gave him a shadow clone when his chakra reserves as a genin level!! he would have died the first time he tried. you should have given him a Chunin level chakra at least!!!
Flame_Spirit:Alright, fair enough. I agree that my brain is polluted by reading all kinds of Chinese novels. But.. if you are not a super genius, how are you going to reach the level of Sage of Six Paths, how are you going to get to that level without a cheat? Not a single person born in the Naruto world reached that level except for Indra and Asura(potentially). Basically only people with close ties to the Otsutsuki clan can reach that level( Guy does not count, he would die after using the 8 gates, if not for the plot saving him). As for the cheat, no one is ''cheating'' more than Naruto and Sasuke: Naruto basically practiced to the Kage-level by himself and then he got boosted by Kurama to ''Above Kage-level'' then after that he got another power-up out of thin air by Hagoromo... and reached the Sage of Six paths level at age of 17.. As for Sasuke, he got the MS and the EMS all by Itachi's planning, after that he got another power-up out of thin air, same like Naruto... Even the MC of my fic is unlikely to reach that level at such a young age,, not to mention upgrading 2 or 3 levels out of thin air in 1 year time span.
the fewer Chinese references the better. (if you want to portray history in such a pretentious way, read something besides Chinese novels, Koreans also have a lot of pretentious novels and they are much better executed than Chinese ones).
Flame_Spirit:Well.. I thought about it and came to the conclusion that you are completely correct. Every time I see this comment get more and more likes, it feels like I get ''face slapped' as they say in Chinese novels. Don't know wether to cry or laugh xD But at this point in the story it's impossible to change, so I'll use this story as a practice for my next Naruto Fanfic. Already got a lot of ideas , next time ill just give the MC a very small cheat and let him truly get stronger with his own efforts and knowledge of the plot! There really are a lot of ways to get to the Sage of 6 Paths level and beyond, just with the plot knowledge and creative mind of a modern person. Little sneak peak: Next novel MC is the same age as Minato, no harem,
Trollface:the fewer Chinese references the better. (if you want to portray history in such a pretentious way, read something besides Chinese novels, Koreans also have a lot of pretentious novels and they are much better executed than Chinese ones).
The problem is that the MC is 9 years old and killed 5-tailed Jinchuuriki which is very ridiculous, he has a kind of romance with a 14 year old girl which honestly is disgusting.
Flame_Spirit:Alright, fair enough. I agree that my brain is polluted by reading all kinds of Chinese novels. But.. if you are not a super genius, how are you going to reach the level of Sage of Six Paths, how are you going to get to that level without a cheat? Not a single person born in the Naruto world reached that level except for Indra and Asura(potentially). Basically only people with close ties to the Otsutsuki clan can reach that level( Guy does not count, he would die after using the 8 gates, if not for the plot saving him). As for the cheat, no one is ''cheating'' more than Naruto and Sasuke: Naruto basically practiced to the Kage-level by himself and then he got boosted by Kurama to ''Above Kage-level'' then after that he got another power-up out of thin air by Hagoromo... and reached the Sage of Six paths level at age of 17.. As for Sasuke, he got the MS and the EMS all by Itachi's planning, after that he got another power-up out of thin air, same like Naruto... Even the MC of my fic is unlikely to reach that level at such a young age,, not to mention upgrading 2 or 3 levels out of thin air in 1 year time span.
The issue is with your perspective there, what do you mean when you say "super genius", because what you are describing is anything but. Let's say a genius is an exceptional individual with some sort of natural ability, that doesn't necessarily make that individual powerful or even successful in any capacity. A genius is essentially a person with a talent and the ability to utilise that talent. Said person could, however, not utilise these talents for an innumerable amount of reasons, but would still be a genius. Naruto had immense chakra, but he would've amounted to nothing if he never learned to utilise said chakra, something that was exceptionally challenging for him. Sasuke on the other hand, was handed the ability to utilise whatever he had, and was handed the power along the way. Sure, it isn't fair, but it isn't simple either. The issue with the modern Wuxia/Xianxia style of writing is merely that, it takes the most basic template to have ever existed, and rehashes the same ingredients over and over again. The differences are practically non-existent, and the story is rarely ever good, and the only reason it is good is not because it has to be, but because even the worst author can only stifle actual creativity for so long. These stories have their entire structure deeply entrenched in the template, and the concept of improvement is practically taboo.
Flame_Spirit:Alright, fair enough. I agree that my brain is polluted by reading all kinds of Chinese novels. But.. if you are not a super genius, how are you going to reach the level of Sage of Six Paths, how are you going to get to that level without a cheat? Not a single person born in the Naruto world reached that level except for Indra and Asura(potentially). Basically only people with close ties to the Otsutsuki clan can reach that level( Guy does not count, he would die after using the 8 gates, if not for the plot saving him). As for the cheat, no one is ''cheating'' more than Naruto and Sasuke: Naruto basically practiced to the Kage-level by himself and then he got boosted by Kurama to ''Above Kage-level'' then after that he got another power-up out of thin air by Hagoromo... and reached the Sage of Six paths level at age of 17.. As for Sasuke, he got the MS and the EMS all by Itachi's planning, after that he got another power-up out of thin air, same like Naruto... Even the MC of my fic is unlikely to reach that level at such a young age,, not to mention upgrading 2 or 3 levels out of thin air in 1 year time span.
whitecrow:Your MC being a genius isn't bad, he is the Main Character of your story, so he has have something going for himself. However, learning both Tree and Water Walking within a single day of accessing his chakra puts him on a pedestal of his own. This implies that he should practically have no problem mastering almost any jutsu in the future as long as he has the necessary chakra. From a certain viewpoint, this could already be considered a cheat of its own. As for him having a cheat, that's perfectly fine. Again, he is the MC of the story, so him having something that distinguishes him from others and makes him special is A-Okay. My critique about it is the way it was handed to him. You started the story by showcasing that the MC is not only talented, but also a hard worker despite his young age. The move he pulled out at in the opening is by no means easy, and genins, maybe even chunins, might struggle with it. That's a great start and draws the readers by promising them a talented MC with a bright future. The next scene, however, you have him complaining that he doesn't have a bloodline. He kinda comes off as if he is entitled, like a spoiled brat. He already got a second change at life, so asking for more is... a character flaw, so to say. But that's not bad! A character having flaws is okay, because that's humane. That flaw could became part of his character that defines him, or he could outgrow it in the future. The very next scene he even shows some growth as he resolves himself to become someone special even if he wasn't born with some stupid gift. That was great! Amazing even. First chapter and you are already showing the MC isn't some robot with a fixes personality and could grow as a character. And immediately after he gets a cheat, diminishing the value of the previous scene. Again, having a cheat is not bad. It was the way it was handed to him right after he made his resolve, which pretty much nulled his character growth.
Flame_Spirit:Alright, fair enough. I agree that my brain is polluted by reading all kinds of Chinese novels. But.. if you are not a super genius, how are you going to reach the level of Sage of Six Paths, how are you going to get to that level without a cheat? Not a single person born in the Naruto world reached that level except for Indra and Asura(potentially). Basically only people with close ties to the Otsutsuki clan can reach that level( Guy does not count, he would die after using the 8 gates, if not for the plot saving him). As for the cheat, no one is ''cheating'' more than Naruto and Sasuke: Naruto basically practiced to the Kage-level by himself and then he got boosted by Kurama to ''Above Kage-level'' then after that he got another power-up out of thin air by Hagoromo... and reached the Sage of Six paths level at age of 17.. As for Sasuke, he got the MS and the EMS all by Itachi's planning, after that he got another power-up out of thin air, same like Naruto... Even the MC of my fic is unlikely to reach that level at such a young age,, not to mention upgrading 2 or 3 levels out of thin air in 1 year time span.
Let MC born in Akimichi Clan and give him glint glint fruit. Kaizuru can't use the fruit properly. Something at the speed of light will destroy anything. And in Akimichi clan he can have the mass of a giant. Speed of light multiplied by the mass of a giant will creat such force that will Destroy everything in its path.
Flame_Spirit:Well.. I thought about it and came to the conclusion that you are completely correct. Every time I see this comment get more and more likes, it feels like I get ''face slapped' as they say in Chinese novels. Don't know wether to cry or laugh xD But at this point in the story it's impossible to change, so I'll use this story as a practice for my next Naruto Fanfic. Already got a lot of ideas , next time ill just give the MC a very small cheat and let him truly get stronger with his own efforts and knowledge of the plot! There really are a lot of ways to get to the Sage of 6 Paths level and beyond, just with the plot knowledge and creative mind of a modern person. Little sneak peak: Next novel MC is the same age as Minato, no harem,
na bro your brain didn't got polluted by reading chinese rather you are turning in a chinese. You should find a cure soon or you will start talking like one soon.
Flame_Spirit:Alright, fair enough. I agree that my brain is polluted by reading all kinds of Chinese novels. But.. if you are not a super genius, how are you going to reach the level of Sage of Six Paths, how are you going to get to that level without a cheat? Not a single person born in the Naruto world reached that level except for Indra and Asura(potentially). Basically only people with close ties to the Otsutsuki clan can reach that level( Guy does not count, he would die after using the 8 gates, if not for the plot saving him). As for the cheat, no one is ''cheating'' more than Naruto and Sasuke: Naruto basically practiced to the Kage-level by himself and then he got boosted by Kurama to ''Above Kage-level'' then after that he got another power-up out of thin air by Hagoromo... and reached the Sage of Six paths level at age of 17.. As for Sasuke, he got the MS and the EMS all by Itachi's planning, after that he got another power-up out of thin air, same like Naruto... Even the MC of my fic is unlikely to reach that level at such a young age,, not to mention upgrading 2 or 3 levels out of thin air in 1 year time span.