Review Detail of FateAlter in Dawn of Eternal

Everything that could be better with the story in my opinion I'm only in Chapter 13. First, you should download Grammarly if you don't already have it because there are spelling mistakes, "or" you could also use virtualwritingtutor.com. Second, the dialogue is weird. You would try rephrasing some sentences because it doesn't sound natural. This would be better for readers to get immersed in the reading. Third, you could try explaining more things because I kinda got confused about how he knew all this stuff. Fourth, you kinda add some unnecessary words in the sentence this makes it feel unnatural. Fifth, some of the dialogue is kind of cringe this is my opinion Idk if any others think this. Overall I'm liking the story so far.