Review Detail of GoldShiresInn in MHA: Reboot
Review detail
this is going to be a honest review this story is pretty average probably just a bit above than that since one i feel like you are going way to fast through his childhood and life so when his dad died i didn't really feel anything also this is a big one the quirk you chose is just simply to versatile for a new writer like your self to write about since one word magic in the way you portray it is just realty warping but with words so that alone brings in so many cards that could easily make your mc strong very fast but you just dont do any of it which seems such a waste of power and also you never really describe how much reality warping he has since you said it cost stamina but what for is it for the size of the change the quality of the change such as dirt to gold would be unbelievable cost of stamina or is based on how different the concept of the two things are like dirt and water or is it based on the energy used to create or change the object there is just so many loop holes in the quirk i feel it is just way to powerful if i was you i would of wrote a simple ff first like someone with a understandable power level rather this craziness
MHA: Reboot
FleemusDesirus
Liked by 19 people
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you dont have to listen to this advice since its your time you spend to write how you want but if you want to build up to become a more successful and experienced writer start with something small then build up the complexity of your later on stories well this is what i think would be helpful for you to build up a fan base as well
FleemusDesirus:I see... I'll take this into mind...
Hmm although you have a point, I think you are overestimating mcs quirk. Its basically a really weak bootleg version of reality manipulation. He can’t just think of something happening like turning dirt into gold and it will happen. He would have to say a word,describing this specific process. But still, even an incredibly weak version of reality manipulation, there a a lot of possible uses and frankly, the mc uses the ability a bit poorly. For example his weapon. Cmon a staff? He could just use chains, say chase or restrain and boom, easy and safe contact. From this point he could say something like, paralyse, sleep, dismembere, cripple, cut. Right now the mc has basically two attacks, blast off, and swatting people with his staff.
you got me on this one, the crimson bands of Cyttorak from marvel are what made me a fan of using chains as weapons.
Lol_2050:Hmm although you have a point, I think you are overestimating mcs quirk. Its basically a really weak bootleg version of reality manipulation. He can’t just think of something happening like turning dirt into gold and it will happen. He would have to say a word,describing this specific process. But still, even an incredibly weak version of reality manipulation, there a a lot of possible uses and frankly, the mc uses the ability a bit poorly. For example his weapon. Cmon a staff? He could just use chains, say chase or restrain and boom, easy and safe contact. From this point he could say something like, paralyse, sleep, dismembere, cripple, cut. Right now the mc has basically two attacks, blast off, and swatting people with his staff.
