Review Detail of Jl_Castillo in Parallel Memory

It is your first writing so it can be understandable but why are you forcing scenarios? I know that your novel is inspired by another but blatantly copying the plotline of another? The immaturity of the MC is quite annoying you know. if you want him to be lovey dovey with Lisa then just make a plot that maybe it was a love at first sight instead of a dumb reason like going by the plotline in his memory. IT IS CRINGE. It needs more tweaks to be decent and plagiarism is not good alright