Review Detail of TheUrbanKing in My System Academy
Review detail
You are terrible at writing conversations, it’s like a recollection of a story from a child’s point of view. Let’s not mention the clique cat ear loli and cold white haired woman. This could have been so interesting. If you stayed with the prince guy and developed a few chapters on his story, then this would have been good. Second. It’s too fast paced. Not the story. But the events. You have bo awareness of time. Learn to develop in moment. I can see what u were trying to do- inspiration from the popular villainous patriarch and his 7/9 villainous disciple story. And ur version could have been a good concept however it’s poorly executed. My advice, rewrite it. The world setting is good. The system could be better. The MC needs to being so basic. He has no impact. Give him personality. With these kind of stories. The most important thing with these kind of stories is not necessarily the plot, but instead the MC. Make the mc have no spiritual root. So even though he had all these resources, status as headmaster, truthfully all he is, is. A coward or faker. And his rope and mask help him hide that truth. That way it’ll be more interesting.
My System Academy
Mister_Writer
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This review is so wrong at many points that I am laughing at your arguments. The MC is a coward or a faker? Bro, have you not read what his position is and the fame that that position carries alongside it? AN ACADEMY MASTER OF A GREAT EDUCATIONAL MAGIC INSTITUTION. Go find me an academy master that will not act superior upon other people or beings and is a pushover when he interacts with the rest. You even want him to not have a magic root, do you hear yourself? It's like asking a surgeon to not have limbs in order to become a surgeon and conduct surgeries. This is so dumb, what's the point of making him an MC or an academy master in the first place. You also ask, why would MC hide behind the mask? You want me to make the first 40 chapters an info dump of telling stuff that isn't even related based on the situation that is unfolding? There's no sense in 'nurturing' a single student either because clearly, the MC doesn't have a magic root at that point, and he wouldn't dare to do without it. THAT IS HOW HE THOUGHT OF IT, and extremely worried and paranoid person, and do you know why? Oh I guess I won't have to tell you since you said that you know what I was trying to do, yeah? If you understand what I'm trying to do, like the omniscient god you think you are, then you wouldn't have bothered to write this review and argue those points at all.
I guess u can’t read as well. The author is trying to do what the author of my disciples are villains has done. He’s not good enough to do that, since it will need a lot of details. So instead. Opt out for a comedic aspect, where the mc is secretly weak but puts on airs.
ScarlatBlood:your review makes no sense. true although I think the story could improve on the description of the details. but making the MC director of a great school of wizards an ordinary nobody is ridiculous.