Review Detail of lurkingreader in Building a crime empire

Note: I only read 4 chapters. It felt like I was watching a case study in my crim course. The protagonist was chilling to read about, not because descriptions were detailed but due to his reckless decisions and lack of stress in the moment of crime. Despite being written in first person there are actually a lot of points that go unexplained. Decisions are told to the reader then acted upon, not really elaborated on further. It’s a missed chance to get to know the protagonist’s thought process more. Contrary to my previous comment, I think the author has fallen into a trap that you can easily fall into when you write in first person—telling rather than showing. The beginning of the prologue is a good example, there are clearly a lot of emotions but it’s mostly being expressed though monologue. It ends up looking like a rant someone tweeted rather than words in a novel. Describing using literary devices like similies and metaphors can go a long way. Grammar wasn’t terrible, just missed some capitalization of words after the end of a dialogue and a few contradicting use of tenses. At one point there was a section that written in past, present, then past again even though it was referring to the same period in time. I wish you the best on the rest of the novel, Author!