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T1me_2_Dr1nkBl3ach
T1me_2_Dr1nkBl3achLv13yr
2022-01-08 05:33

The main criticism I can make is its Waaaaaaaaay too rushed and I don't think the author understands the show don't tell rule. the author needs to slow down and SHOW me how his father was a good man not tell me. all the small things the MC mentions his dad did for him in that list the author needs to expand on them by giving them scenes. I know that is hard to do but it will make his death so much more impactful.

How to Become an Apex Being

MHK_
Not enough ratings
7 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies3
MHK_
MHK_Author

Thank you so much, I will try and work on it and uptade it.

3yr
1
MHK_
MHK_Author

I rewrote the first chapters, so can you tell me your opinion about them?

3yr
Holy_fan
Holy_fanLv1

The first time I read it I thought so too, but now it is way better, trust me just give it a shot.

3yr
Other Reviews
Notion_Theory
Notion_TheoryLv1

Yoooo I loved you're novel it was really good, I enjoyed all five chapters It felt like I was reading a biography, and I loved that. The narration of the main character to his younger self through his memories was really good. I couldn't find a single mistake, you're grammer and spelling were top notch There's nothing I didn't like about it, it's really good and I can't wait for what you have planned for the future of the series

3yr

Holy_fan
Holy_fanLv1

I like really the updating speed (a chapter per day), I didn't really like the chara design of the MC because there isn't any :'( . I didn't find grammar mistakes so that's a plus. As for the overall story, it's good and has a lot of potential.

3yr
leoreview1
leoreview1Lv1

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leozhan2020*@*gmail.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.

3yr
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