webnovel
I_am_a_devyy
I_am_a_devyyLv33yr
2022-04-22 11:16

Writing quality is fine and thats a give a way for what the story lacks and the story development is so so, not sure if it will improved in the future, Character Design is a bit problematic, The ppl surrounding the Mc is far from normal, theyre bunch of weirdos that makes one worry, idk if theyre experiencing a mental illness or something, being different from the rest is good but, the author made them off the chart like really. Her family being protective is understandable but her sister being a yandere that seems to infect the other character to the point of being a creepy themeselves is what ticked me off. Idk maybe not just for me but you can also try this one out, might works best and suit your taste.

Liked by 12 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Alekzi
AlekziAuthor

After writing 100 chapters, I decided to do a new author review. I have gotten a great response so far, and that gave me a boost of motivation to keep writing this; and after writing 100 chapters, I already know that the story is only beginning, there is so much left to write, and I have a hunch that it will take easily over 1000 chapters to complete, maybe even 2000. Second, I have gotten a few toxic messages about how MC's looks, because he looks girly and is around 170cm, so I have gotten a lot of messages about making him taller, etc., and that may happen or may not, I am not going to spoil it, but I have reasoning for his looks and his height, and none of those will change before I am ready to reveal the reasoning of his looks and what happened in his childhood. Third, I have written a lot of mystery, and I enjoyed it immensely. I have given a few subtle hints on the chapters that might reveal why MC is different from the rest, and that White Online isn't as normal as it seems at first, so good luck on finding those. Fourth, I have seen a few theories made by my readers, and I am sometimes terrified of how well you guys found out about some things which still haven't been revealed yet; it is nice to see all kinds of theories, even though some aren't correct, but it is still nice to read those. Fifth, about a love interest. Some of you guys might have read the synopsis and seen the tags, but I will still say this. This will be a No Harem novel with only one love interest, and even if some of you guys like Harem, you guys should still try and who knows, some of you might like it. I decided to lock the chapters only around the 53th chap so that everyone has enough time to read and find out if they like it enough to keep paying for more chapters. Thanks, everyone for reading, and I hope you guys support me in this very long journey.

Ullyr
UllyrLv15

Alekzi asked me to leave a review as a fellow author and as the editor of this novel, and I will be as truthful as possible. I wanted to read this, as I am a friend to Alekzi, but I couldn't bring myself to do it at first because as an English native, it was difficult for me to deal with the sentence structure. After some chit-chatting, we came to an agreement that I would help him bring the writing up to snuff. It will take a while, but I'll be doing it as fast as I can for his future readers! Daily released chapters will be edited before posting, and I will tackle the former chapters as I can (: As for the story itself, I regret not reading this sooner! Even if there are issues with the grammar, Alekzi has had experience from writing many books before this, and he has truly mastered the art of captivation! The plot of the novel up to current is well thought out, the outline of current and future novel events is meticulously drawn out, and 'almost' every chapter has just enough entertainment to keep you hooked! Isaac is an intelligent (Not a super genius) character who almost completely lacks prior experience in MMO or VRMMO settings. He doesn't just automatically start as the best in the world as is seen in so many other VRMMO novels, and is actually somewhat outclassed in the earlier chapters. As White Online isn't set up like any VRMMO that was released previously in this world, his intelligence and lack of video game experience actually assist him in climbing his way up the ranks from the bottom of the barrell! I have enjoyed my read, and I hope that my work in raising the quality of this novel helps many others enjoy their read as well!

EnterGoodNameHere
EnterGoodNameHereLv14

This review is after reading chapter 151 and as I’m writing this I am nowhere close to being caught up. So some of the things I’m talking about could have changed by now. Alright so the novel overall is pretty good but it has some distinct problems that tend to annoy readers, including me. The story overall has an interesting premise. The characters are interesting and I don’t really dislike any of them(except for the ones your supposed to dislike of course.) The story does tend to fall into some cliches and some situations that don’t make sense at times. Though it’s not really possible to make a completely unique story and for the most part the hiccups aren’t that bad. Now the story itself doesn’t have to many problems, but the ones that it does have show up often enough to be a problem. 1) The author’s first language isn’t English and it’s pretty easy to tell. I personally don’t really care to much but I know it’s a turn off for a lot of people so just pointing it out. 2) In the story the Mc is called a genius by multiple characters as well as the author. This isn’t true at all as he’s shown to be average or slightly above average during the story. (and don’t even get me started on his eq.) The characters calling him a genius is fine as those that do are normally biased and it makes sense coming from them. I would also like to say that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The mc doesn’t have to be a genius for a good story. There are plenty of good stories with mcs that are just smart, average, and even ones where the mc is a little slow. I personally think it’s more accurate to call him talented as he’s been confirmed confirmed to learn things fast. 3) This is related to my last point kinda but the author tends to make the Mc not realize certain things that are pretty obvious for the sake of the story. For one it kinda breaks immersion and 2 it further makes calling him a genius seem wrong. As I said before, there’s nothing wrong with your Mc not being a genius, but if based on previous experiences they would be able to figure something out either let them figure it out or change it a bit to where it makes sense that they wouldn’t. The worst part about this one is that within like a minute I can normally think of a small change in the situation or dialogue to make it make sense why he wouldn’t know. It makes it feel like the author isn’t putting that much effort in the story when he doesn’t really come off that way. So overall it’s a really good story premise and I feel like if those problems were fixed the story would be so much better and would probably be a story I’m extremely eager to read instead of just enjoying.

Related Stories

Supreme Archer: Taking The Game's Weakest Class To The Top

"You're worth a single arrow." The first immersive virtual MMORPG, The Legend Enigma Online, has conquered the game market! There's not even one person who hasn't heard or seen this game's beautiful and vast magical world overflowing with monsters. Everyone wanted to play this game and be a part of history! Conjuring magic, wielding enormous swords, and even flying across the skies are possible in this game! Guns, arrows? Those are boring compared to this! Jake, however, was compelled to think differently. When the archery became abandoned and forgotten, he took this class and swore to prove others wrong, all because he likes to go against the mainstream! With the bow in his hand, Jake finds passion, talent, and excitement in archery, but will that be enough against the challenges the world keeps for him? It's not only the players that find archery weaker than magic. After the dawn of mana, which happened over two hundred years ago, even NPCs prefer magic over bows. While the other classes have been developed so much by NPCs that players have many luxuries to pick from, the archery is now a mere shadow of its past. That's only the tip of the iceberg of the future Supreme Archer's difficulties! "No matter whatever it is and how long it takes, I'll take everything on and get my archery to the top! The archery where I'm the master and artisan of my bows and arrows, the tailor of my equipment, and pioneer of my own skills!" Hard work, talent, bitter defeats, and uproarious victories–none of it is foreign to Jake! https://discord.gg/ZQ4G84ZtRY - discord server for our community!

HomieLv1 · Games
4.8
304 Chs

Rise of The Undead Legion

Three years ago Conquest was released, redefining virtual reality and gaming. ‘An entire world on a server. Dive in and play the RPG to end all others; explore, create, conquer. LIVE!’ It became an overnight phenomena worldwide. Dave Ruster grew up without a family to speak of, he had few friends and fewer prospects. He lives in the same small town where he graduated from high school, and works long hours at a low-paying job that barely pays for rent and the food on his table. He can’t afford college, but at least he is not out on the streets. His life is going nowhere, stuck on a treadmill. Until chance, karma, or providence, call it whatever you believe in, intervenes. Suddenly, David’s circumstances change. Injured and unable to work, he’s about to lose what little he has. His fate balances where crisis and opportunity go hand in hand. He can risk it all, seizing the opportunity to make circumstances work for him, potentially going further and higher than he ever dreamed. Or he can accept his fate and watch life from the sidelines Join Dave as he puts all his aspirations and hopes, all that he is, into the game he always wanted to play, Conquest! It will be a journey of adventure and discovery, victory and loss, as he strives to create a new future for himself, in-the-game and In Real Life. **** Story is currently being proofed by our Lord Sambraga! (chapters 54+) so please bear with the mediocre quality of writing in the first chaps, it gets much better later on!****

Biako · Games
4.7
564 Chs

Villain MMORPG: Almighty Devil Emperor and His Seven Demonic Wives

Allen, the legendary player "Godlike", finds himself thrust into the revolutionary fulldive VRMMORPG Hell's Gate's main villain, Azazel. Alongside seven skilled female players, he embarks on a journey filled with unexpected challenges. Confronting his old nemesis and countless players, Allen delves deep into the shadows of his own dark past. Soon, he becomes entangled in a complex web of new relationships and past betrayals. His companions develop feelings for him, not only in the virtual world but also in real life. Balancing his affection for his wives, the chaos of the battlefield, and his thirst for revenge, Allen sets out to attain everything he desires. The legendary player has returned once again, not as the hero but as the villain. He shall claim the title of ultimate villain! ---------------------- Each one of his subordinates represent seven deadly sins: Nefaris (Vampire) -> Pride // Player: Larissa Lullaby (Siren) -> Sloth // Player: Shea Lilieth (Succubus) -> Lust // Player: Vivian Eira (Fox Demon) -> Wrath // Player: Bella Selena (Witch) -> Envy // Player: Alice Abyssia (Kraken) -> Gluttony // Player : Zoe Grimora (Necromancer) -> Greed // Player: Jane -------------------------- Join my discord channel for illustrations: https://discord.gg/mSRHyMVhnG Bonus Chapters! *600 Power Stone = 1 bonus chapter *400 Golden Ticket= 1 bonus chapter *Magic Castle= 2 bonus chapters *Space Craft= 4 bonus chapters Important Note: No NTR, No Yuri, No rape, the relationship will go both in the game and real world. Tags: Mature Content , R-18 , Gore, Comedy , Revenge, Face Slapping, Monster Girls , Succubus , Magic , Demons , Devil , Beasts , Action , Mystery , Overpowered , Harem , System , Servants , Handsome Male Lead , Smart Male Lead and Slice of Life.

UnholyGod · Games
4.7
1575 Chs

Mystic Calling:Stone of Glory

Year 2035. A groundbreaking game—"Glory Lords: Arcane War"—takes the world by storm. With cutting-edge VR immersion, players can feel the pulse of magic, the tremors of battle, and the weight of every decision. But more than just a game, it becomes the ultimate stage for global esports. Elite teams rise, billion-dollar prize pools emerge, and the entire world is swept into the frenzy. But for Ethan Parker, this isn’t just a game. It’s a gamble with fate itself. Las Vegas. Midnight. A secret high-stakes game. On the table lies the world’s only Legendary-tier artifact—the Stone of Glory. Its value? Far beyond a billion dollars. Because hidden within it is a secret—one that can rewrite the very rules of reality. Ethan bets everything. And loses. In that moment, he doesn’t just lose the artifact—he loses his future. Then, the world changes. The game and reality merge. Earth is no longer the world it once was. Society collapses, replaced by a brutal new order where a person’s rank in "Glory Lords: Arcane War" determines their status in real life. The strongest players become kings. The weakest? Slaves. And the one who won the Stone of Glory—Griffin Musk—rises to absolute power, ruling over this new world as its supreme leader. As for Ethan? Once the #1 player in the world, he loses everything—his account, his status, his freedom. Reduced to the lowest class, he suffers, tortured until his final breath. But now—he’s back. Reborn with the memories of his past life, he returns to the moment it all began. This time, he wins the gamble. This time, he won’t let the world fall into Griffin’s hands. But fate has more in store for him… When he logs into the game, he realizes something is off. Not only is he the first player in the world to own private territory, but he also acquires something unheard of—the only Legendary-tier unit in existence: the Green Dragon. And then—something even more shocking. These two Green Dragons aren’t just powerful units. They’re heroes. With growth potential and combat abilities surpassing even top-tier players, they have the power to change the course of the entire game. At that moment, Ethan knows—his path to the top has begun. But the real world isn’t done with him yet. Governments, military forces, corporate giants, secret organizations—and even Griffin himself—are now watching his every move. This time, it’s not just about revenge. This time, he’s taking control of the future. The war of heroes has only just begun…

IvyWoods · Games
4.9
277 Chs