webnovel
Zerot_Solar
Zerot_SolarLv62yr
2021-12-15 10:41

Review from the first 5 chapters: There is no Rimuru in this story so far just another Shirō Emiya with the face of Rimuru. The story have a system and is confirmed that there will be others with systems. Saying this the character design and story development have been null so far. The writting quality is average. The world background cant be judge just from 5chapters so far just 4star. Update Stability 5star so far 5 chapters in few days.

In MHA as Rimuru Tempest with Archer Emiya's Power

Daoist764038
3.6
16 Chs

Liked by 29 people

LIKE
Replies5
Daoist764038
Daoist764038Author

Thx for the review, I'm glad that you are enjoying the story so far. I will try my best to improve the story and the mc character development.

2yr
9
Bierbart
BierbartLv14

thats for the warning. Better drop it early then

2yr
21
ArtoriaPendragon_
ArtoriaPendragon_Lv13

Thanks for the warning, I can’t stand Fanfics with multiple System users

2yr
33
BobboLobbo
BobboLobboLv4

Facts.

2yr
1
Elder
ElderLv11

Author can't follow what he writes. So this is trash.

2yr
2
Other Reviews
NullElement
NullElementLv1

The style of writing is weird, I don't know if you have read any other novels before but it feels weird for you not to use ' ' for thinking and " " for talking. Instead of using " " for both. Also putting the names in front of what people are saying throws off immersion you should do, "Wait did that actually happen to him?" Bobby asked john with genuine curiosity.

2yr

Rimuru_Tempest0
Rimuru_Tempest0Lv14

I dont know what to write so I'll just say keep up the great work and the story is great so far. Also I have a question will he be later on getting more of rimuru stuff or abilities from the anime or LN/WN

2yr
SwordSin655
SwordSin655Lv4

While the story has a nice premise and starting plot the mc feels like too much of a pushover I don't mind him being a trap but the way anyone can trick him or treat him as a pushover repulses me. He just goes along with whatever happens,when nezu tricked him even with the contract he could've just denied anything and refuse to a contract he just took nezu questioning him repeatedly, but that's fine even if he went with it. But him being declared as the loser of the cooking competitive absolutely discouraged me from reading. That was so heavily biased and the fact that he goes along with the bets with him gaining bs in return even if he wins yea no sorry byee!!

2yr
DaoistJXYJcm
DaoistJXYJcmLv1

author I recommend a small harem maximum three because with a large one the stories are ruined it would rise to a higher ranking if the story improves but at the moment there are few chapters but for a novice writer in my opinion he is doing quite well

2yr
ShadowScribe
ShadowScribeLv14

Reveal spoiler

2yr
Devil023
Devil023Lv4

dude you need to read it yourself and then correct the story. the way it is going is completely uninteresting. even the conversation need improvement.

2yr
CaveSquirrel
CaveSquirrelLv4

This is better on Wattpad. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠_⁠/⁠¯

2yr
StarWriting
StarWritingLv10

Your MC is honestly just plain too edgy. All the killing and castrations, you honestly need to chill out my dude. Your story would be 10x better if your Mc just calmed down a bit.

2yr
RyugaNyxOuroboros
RyugaNyxOuroborosLv1

I won't say anything, I'll just leave this here and go, good luck with your story................................. ........................................

2yr
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