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BreathingMoon
BreathingMoonLv32yr
2022-02-03 03:03

Alright: I love the dramatic tension these first chapters set, which is very hard to establish and maintain in certain novels for the most part. Generally, overtime I'd expect it to become a little off-putting, so I pray you manage that well as the series continues. After this spike in tension with the opposing forces, I'd always recommend keeping a dark- gritty tone. I'd recommend using more 'Dirty' feeling words to describe this world to fit the tension, as in litterally describing everything as dusty or damp- something like that. As for everything else, it's quite good.

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