Review Detail of LordEggar in Eldritch Bleak

Absolutely fell in love with the first chapter. It's a great hook and your writing style is quite beautiful. The progression through both chapters was quite nice, though I think I'd liked to have one or two chapters between the first chapter and the next sighting of the monster, mainly because I wanted to get to know the main characters a bit more first. I also think, though the description is beautiful, it might work better if you broke up your paragraphs up a bit more. This is mainly because it can be a bit of an effort to read in succession. Otherwise I've got no real gripe or criticism, I'm really excited to read more.