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Review Detail of ltsArcane in SCP: TRANSPORTED (TEMPORARY HIATUS)

Review detail

ltsArcane
ltsArcaneLv22yrltsArcane

I had a whole proper review written out for this but decided to just backspace all of it away. I'm going to say what I want here, not as a review, but as advice. Firstly, where's the synopsis? The only reason I clicked on this was that the title pretty much said it all, but without a decent synopsis, lots of people are just going to skim past it. Your writing style is confusing and could use some work. The best advice I can give is for you to read some of the well-known stories on this platform and take note of how they do certain things, such as how exactly the character speak and what the follow-up text is for it, the rough estimate length of a paragraph, the background of characters, and so forth. The formatting could use some work. The "paragraphs" are far too long. Additional information should go to the additional information section, not in the middle of a chapter. That's the biggest problem of this story so far. Work a bit more on the characters as well. Like, make a character sheet of every character and give them like 20 characteristics, traits, abilities, personality types, etc that make them unique. Don't introduce most of these traits into the story directly, but rather take a roundabout approach. An example of a fairly well-structured paragraph with decent vocabulary that helps portray some of the characteristics of Zach: 'Despite Zach's prior fear when he learned about the foundation kidnapping him, a blooming sense of excitement welled up from his' depths after realizing where exactly he was; Inside of the very SCP Foundation that he respected! The idea of being able to use his omniscient-like knowledge to explore The Foundation would have been a rather thrilling one if only the guards weren't holding him at gunpoint; His anxiety well on its way back to cloud his judgment once again.' Other than those main pointers, there are a few things here and there that could use working on, but they aren't detrimental to the story. Just focus on getting a better writing style and fixing the formatting first. ~Some guy who cried after reading SCP-1762.

SCP: TRANSPORTED (TEMPORARY HIATUS)

HyperXEZ

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Replies5

HyperXEZ
HyperXEZAuthorHyperXEZ

Hey Arcane, if you see this I just wanted to let you know that my old discord got hacked. Please add this new one HyperXE12#2993.

ltsArcane:No problem! If you need any help with the aforementioned problems, I am willing to be both an editor and beta reader for you. I haven't done much textual editing or critical analysis for novels, despite having a keen interest in writing one. I've quite literally gone through many websites to help myself with making the "perfect novel" based on the idea I had, but because of my pessimistic nature, I ended up throwing away the final draft and character sheets. I'll drop by on fanfiction.net to see whether the plot takes a turn or whether my review needs any changes. If my memory serves me correctly, my discord is IGiveArcaneDonations#7879. Feel free to send me a message if you are in any need of help. I wish for your success with the rest of the novel!
ltsArcane
ltsArcaneLv2ltsArcane

Regardless of the aforementioned, I have high hopes for this story! I mean it. I don't know whether I'm just looking in the wrong places or if there is genuinely none of it, but I've never come across an SCP novel that dwells on SCP-1762. (Then again, I don't read SCP novels that much.)

Osiris_Dawns
Osiris_DawnsLv15Osiris_Dawns

Funnily enough I was planning on adding this to the list of "I might read it, well probably not" fanfics/noveks i've found on here but your review has convinced me to give it a read so thank you for that. If the Author is as good as you say he is, I can definetly enjoy this novel so im looking forward to it.

HyperXEZ
HyperXEZAuthorHyperXEZ

Thank you guys for all of the advise!

ltsArcane
ltsArcaneLv2ltsArcane

No problem! If you need any help with the aforementioned problems, I am willing to be both an editor and beta reader for you. I haven't done much textual editing or critical analysis for novels, despite having a keen interest in writing one. I've quite literally gone through many websites to help myself with making the "perfect novel" based on the idea I had, but because of my pessimistic nature, I ended up throwing away the final draft and character sheets. I'll drop by on fanfiction.net to see whether the plot takes a turn or whether my review needs any changes. If my memory serves me correctly, my discord is IGiveArcaneDonations#7879. Feel free to send me a message if you are in any need of help. I wish for your success with the rest of the novel!

HyperXEZ:Thank you guys for all of the advise!