webnovel
Airelda
AireldaLv43yr
2021-09-30 15:52

It's not that the story is bad. The problem lies in the fact that there are no facts. The first 2 chapters are a whole lot of PLOT ARMOR. He needs money? Hey, there is someone running a dice game and he just happens to be carrying around 50K pounds for MC to win it... how convenient! Honestly, the whole thing hit me with a sense of disbelief. I believe the guy isn't dead but in a coma where he is having this unreal dream. If that is true, my rating should be higher but if not... this needs a redo. Funny enough, the grammar isn't that bad, just a few misspelled and wrong word choices here and there.

HP: The Secret Heir.

confused4you
4.1
59 Chs

Liked by 24 people

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Replies3
confused4you
confused4youAuthor

I think I have made a mistake when the mc wins the 50k he has won it over a span of few days in different parts of London.

3yr
4
MonsterCreator
MonsterCreatorLv4

Well going in this track of thought, how did he learn legillimency occlumancy etc. cause he shouldn't know them maybe if he went to knockturn alley maybe but still some inconsistencies I like this story tho.

confused4you:I think I have made a mistake when the mc wins the 50k he has won it over a span of few days in different parts of London.
3yr
10
confused4you
confused4youAuthor

he didn't learn them i never said he did

MonsterCreator:Well going in this track of thought, how did he learn legillimency occlumancy etc. cause he shouldn't know them maybe if he went to knockturn alley maybe but still some inconsistencies I like this story tho.
2yr
Other Reviews
Lamafdg
LamafdgLv1

Reveal spoiler

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Dao_of_Melancholy
Dao_of_MelancholyLv13

Top notch premise with a unique main character. Can’t say much more without spoiling the small surprise. But great fanfic 10/10 would recommend

3yr
M2skMan
M2skManLv4

The novel is very well written and didn't saw any incorect words or grammar, The story develop fast but in a good way. All I want to say is just read it and you won't regret.

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Laziness_IsThe_Key
Laziness_IsThe_KeyLv5

Idea was good but execution was poor First few chapters makes it clear it won't go far. Too much plot armour like Ownership of so many houses, an 11 year old kid made 50k by gambling and Its like reading a summary I did this and That and also too few words.

3yr
toocareful
toocarefulLv14

It's too rushed. There are tons of hp fanfic so if ur gonna make a hp fanfic you have to make sure you do it right and not just make into a template.

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Lord_Beliall
Lord_BeliallLv2

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IAMTIRED
IAMTIREDLv1

I have read other work from the author and it is very unique amongst other Fan-fic and I like it but there are some grammatical errors here and there but nothing major. The story progresses a bit fast and the character growth is a bit slow I hope that the Author could squeeze in more chapters. And could flesh out the character more.

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