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L0rdGr1m_
L0rdGr1m_Lv113yr
2021-09-26 00:54

The plot is very unique, I never read anything like this before. The writing was decent, though first-person telling is not my cup of tea. Keep going and good work.

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Darine_ALRAMMAH
Darine_ALRAMMAHAuthor

Thank you very much! I appreciate your review!

Other Reviews
Olympu
OlympuLv1

This is going to be a very long review! Writing quality - It's not too good, and not too bad. Stability of updates - No. Story Development - Standard. Character Design - Unique, not what I was expecting. World Background - The descriptions are standard too. Some tips: Cut out obvious descriptions. One of the most common traps that new writers fall into is using predictable words to describe something—for instance, writing a sentence like, “The blue sky was dotted with white, fluffy clouds.” For the most part, when someone hears the word “sky,” they’ll picture it blue, and when they picture clouds, they’ll picture them “white” and “fluffy.” Adjectives like these are unnecessary and can bog down your writing. Simply cut those descriptive words out of the sentence. “The sky was dotted with clouds” conjures the exact same image and is shorter and more focused. Use surprising words. Once your sentences are free of any obvious descriptive details, you have the space to pepper in some more interesting words. Pushing your descriptions in new and surprising directions will help your sentences be memorable for readers. For instance, if you want to describe a rainy day, the easy way to describe it would be to mention “the stormy sky”—but something a little more unique could be “the angry sky” or “the boiling sky.” Brainstorm common adjectives and other describing words and use them in unique ways to keep your writing fresh and interesting. Remember sensory details. A common adage for good descriptive writing is “show, don’t tell”—and sensory information is a great way to make that happen. Sprinkling in specific details that appeal to readers’ five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell) will bring your scenes to life and make them feel richer and more interesting. Make use of figurative language. One of the most powerful literary devices that writers have is figurative language, which goes beyond literal definitions in order to describe things in a more interesting way. Comparisons like similes (using “like” or “as”) or metaphors (saying one thing is something else) can help paint instant pictures of your characters or settings; for instance, “His nose was a gnarled root growing out of his face” can pack a lot more punch than saying “His nose was twisted and misshapen.” Other types of figurative language include onomatopoeia, which uses words that sound like what they mean (e.g., “the pitter-patter of raindrops”), and hyperbole, which is a form of exaggeration (e.g., “he rang the doorbell a million times”). Think about who is doing the describing. In most points of view, you’ll be writing from a character’s perspective—either using “I” and “me” in first-person or “they” and “them” in third-person. It may not seem obvious at first, but point of view is a descriptive element that can help you build a believable world for your story. To use POV properly, make sure that you’re thinking about your character’s perspective as you describe so that the description feels true to the way they would speak. Be wary of over-description. To create effective descriptive writing, less is more. Try to limit yourself to one or two interesting details the first time you introduce a character or setting, and readers will fill in the rest. For instance, if you say “The cabin room was sparse except for the looming stuffed grizzly in the corner,” readers can fill in the details for themselves without you needing to describe the floorboards, the windows, the bedsheets, and what your character had for dinner last week. This will help readers remember each character or setting better than if you had an entire descriptive paragraph for each. Read good examples of descriptive writing. If you start to feel stuck when trying to write vivid description, look up a few of your favorite books or short stories and see how other writers do it. Pay attention to what they do that you like—whether it’s only writing their description in simple sentence structure or making sure that the following sentences include strong action to counteract the description. Then, sit down and try to replicate their tactics in a simple writing activity to see where it takes you. Have fun on your writing journey, and I hope you succeed.

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Trying to Survive in a World Full of FUTA’S!

A real Scumbag of a guy who wouldn’t mind hopping from one chick to another as it was more fun that way, gets killed by one of his Ex-Lovers. For this he is judged not by a god of reincarnation but a vindictive goddess of love who just so happen to have ended her relationship with her partner. And using him as a toy he is to her he gives him a suitable punishment for his crimes. “You wanted to have women left and right come to you huh? Well I hope you enjoy being in a world where only less than 1% of the population is males.” “…. How’s that a bad thing?” “Oh, it’s because the other 24% is females and the rest is FUTA’S! And to add bonus to your misery asshole I’m going to make you look like a cute little Femboy that all those hung Futa’s want to pound! So you better prepare your ass for the worst nightmare of your life!” And with that his nightmare truly begun, and if not for the slight intervention of another god our hero would have little to no chance for survival. With no system and no meta knowledge of this new world that seemed to have a mash up of original characters as well as those from various anime, video games and manga being still female or futafied our hero has only one goal. Survive this world and keep his anal virginity intact and maybe make the most of his time in his new life. ***** Now I’m going to say that this is going to be an extremely Niche type of novel that only certain people will like, you don’t like Futanari, which is women having both male and female genitalia then this isn’t for you, though I hope the title gave it away. There is no system, and besides a very small gift he got from a god he is basically left to his own devices in a completely different earth from his own. I know it says survival in the tags, but that ‘Survival’ is whether he can protect his ass or not, and no I’m not going to tell you if it happens or not as that would ruin a bit of the fun in writing this. Also he will be looking like Astolfo from Fate for his now current Femboy appearance that was bestowed upon him.

OneMoreScore · Others
4.9
96 Chs