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illiterateLilac
illiterateLilacLv123yr
2021-09-18 16:58

This book has only started but I can see it growing into a novel. I think the idea original and the first chapters grab your attention. Good luck and keep updating!

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Darine_ALRAMMAH
Darine_ALRAMMAHAuthor

Thanks! Your too sweet <3

Other Reviews
Olympu
OlympuLv1

This is going to be a very long review! Writing quality - It's not too good, and not too bad. Stability of updates - No. Story Development - Standard. Character Design - Unique, not what I was expecting. World Background - The descriptions are standard too. Some tips: Cut out obvious descriptions. One of the most common traps that new writers fall into is using predictable words to describe something—for instance, writing a sentence like, “The blue sky was dotted with white, fluffy clouds.” For the most part, when someone hears the word “sky,” they’ll picture it blue, and when they picture clouds, they’ll picture them “white” and “fluffy.” Adjectives like these are unnecessary and can bog down your writing. Simply cut those descriptive words out of the sentence. “The sky was dotted with clouds” conjures the exact same image and is shorter and more focused. Use surprising words. Once your sentences are free of any obvious descriptive details, you have the space to pepper in some more interesting words. Pushing your descriptions in new and surprising directions will help your sentences be memorable for readers. For instance, if you want to describe a rainy day, the easy way to describe it would be to mention “the stormy sky”—but something a little more unique could be “the angry sky” or “the boiling sky.” Brainstorm common adjectives and other describing words and use them in unique ways to keep your writing fresh and interesting. Remember sensory details. A common adage for good descriptive writing is “show, don’t tell”—and sensory information is a great way to make that happen. Sprinkling in specific details that appeal to readers’ five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell) will bring your scenes to life and make them feel richer and more interesting. Make use of figurative language. One of the most powerful literary devices that writers have is figurative language, which goes beyond literal definitions in order to describe things in a more interesting way. Comparisons like similes (using “like” or “as”) or metaphors (saying one thing is something else) can help paint instant pictures of your characters or settings; for instance, “His nose was a gnarled root growing out of his face” can pack a lot more punch than saying “His nose was twisted and misshapen.” Other types of figurative language include onomatopoeia, which uses words that sound like what they mean (e.g., “the pitter-patter of raindrops”), and hyperbole, which is a form of exaggeration (e.g., “he rang the doorbell a million times”). Think about who is doing the describing. In most points of view, you’ll be writing from a character’s perspective—either using “I” and “me” in first-person or “they” and “them” in third-person. It may not seem obvious at first, but point of view is a descriptive element that can help you build a believable world for your story. To use POV properly, make sure that you’re thinking about your character’s perspective as you describe so that the description feels true to the way they would speak. Be wary of over-description. To create effective descriptive writing, less is more. Try to limit yourself to one or two interesting details the first time you introduce a character or setting, and readers will fill in the rest. For instance, if you say “The cabin room was sparse except for the looming stuffed grizzly in the corner,” readers can fill in the details for themselves without you needing to describe the floorboards, the windows, the bedsheets, and what your character had for dinner last week. This will help readers remember each character or setting better than if you had an entire descriptive paragraph for each. Read good examples of descriptive writing. If you start to feel stuck when trying to write vivid description, look up a few of your favorite books or short stories and see how other writers do it. Pay attention to what they do that you like—whether it’s only writing their description in simple sentence structure or making sure that the following sentences include strong action to counteract the description. Then, sit down and try to replicate their tactics in a simple writing activity to see where it takes you. Have fun on your writing journey, and I hope you succeed.

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Gudako in Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari

This is my very first crossover. It is inspired by Fate Grand Order and numerous crossover fanfictions I do not own nasuverse or Rising of the Shield Hero. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Ritsuka Fujimaru or known as Gudako is the master of Chaldea who managaes to fix the singularities and the lostbelts. However she is tired with the shenanigans of her servants especially due to an accident with the rayshift where she fuses with Hakuno Kishinami(Female). Along the way she noticed she is able to call her female servants making use of her body as a carrier of sorts without using a command spell for female servants, genderless and a few of the male, strangely the rest of the male servants are unable to be summoned without the command seal or being transported the normal way, she could also use her servants power and even fuse her body with theirs making their parameters increase depending on their bonds, but strangely she can only fuse with some of the servants, specifically female servants, gender confusing servants, and a few exceptions. On a rare vacation day she is offered by Merlin a vacation in a timeline where she doesn't have to worry about singularities or any time anomalies. Althought doubtful and suspicious she accepted due to the persuasion of her servants who ussually accompany her due to believing it would be a honeymoon of sorts. While carrying Fou on her shoulder and with Mash at her side she walks to the portal which Merlin opens with the help of a certain someone, who is actually Zelretch Kischur Zweinorg the Nasuverse's biggest TROLL. Not knowing Gudako the fact that Zelretch and Merlin decides to pull a prank on her, she passes the portal somewhat worried because of the chance of vacation coming from Merlin with some feelings of anxiety. After passing Mash is instantly forced to enter Gudako's body while Fou remained on Gudako's shoulder, and they are thrust into a world while there is no singularity or the likes. It is in danger, in fact Gudako winds up in the middle of the ancient hero summonning along with 4 other people and Fou on her shoulder and a note in her hand from Merlin. What will Gudako do in the middle of a hero summoning ? Will she and Fou maul Merlin with unseen ferocity ? Will she disrupt the balance of the world ? How will her servants react to the so called 'heroes' ? It depends on my inspiration and decision ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Updates are not guaranteed it depends on rating and my free time. ------------This message is from Gudako to Merlin "MERLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!! When I get my hands on you your going to experience a full course of hell by Noble Phantasms!!"

Furno · Others
Not enough ratings
19 Chs