Review Detail of Incognito0001 in The First Store System
Review detail
Solid writing quality but cant say its 5 stars, beginning seems more like a prologue showing what mc will become in the future and then jumps around here and there which seems somewhat unnecessary and somewhat poorly done imo, the one thing that I hate about books is inconsistency and plot holes and there are already some appearing in the first 20 chapters that discourages me from giving this book more of my time. I usually like the OP store owner/system books but I find it hard to like this one. Might check it in future but for now 3.4 stars is me being generous :/ my rating might seem harsh but I am comparing it to books that actually have 4.8+ rating and are not inflated like your book currently is
The First Store System
pinaka_
Liked by 11 people
LIKEReplies5
jumping: goes from store intro to George intro back to store then George life with the flame and then it ends with him paying the debt back and the story actually begins, kinda unnecessary but i see that you tried to make it unique, but unique sometimes does not mean good plot holes: receives the knowledge of all races etc. cant tell if a man or woman enters his store, receives the knowledge of all treasures , does now know how to hatch the egg let alone recognizes it and some other small things that should not happen since he is basically the encyclopedia of the multiuniverse at this point reviews: well you legit only had 5 star normie reviews that 'wow' at everything
Since when did an Egg became a treasure? It may be in other stories but not in mine, it's a life. It started with George because He was his 100th customer. I then showed some important moments of his life for the next 20 chapters. As for the gender thing, He learned the history of the race and many races may have similarities when it comes to gender except having different private parts. They liked the story that's why they gave the reviews. You didn't like it, so you gave it 3.4. I thought everyone had same freedom to express their points. How did it become inflated?
Incognito0001:jumping: goes from store intro to George intro back to store then George life with the flame and then it ends with him paying the debt back and the story actually begins, kinda unnecessary but i see that you tried to make it unique, but unique sometimes does not mean good plot holes: receives the knowledge of all races etc. cant tell if a man or woman enters his store, receives the knowledge of all treasures , does now know how to hatch the egg let alone recognizes it and some other small things that should not happen since he is basically the encyclopedia of the multiuniverse at this point reviews: well you legit only had 5 star normie reviews that 'wow' at everything
Are you stupid..... his cat Trash or Was the name Lily.... was born from a Egg and he says how would Mc not know it if would know that much about races
pinaka_:Since when did an Egg became a treasure? It may be in other stories but not in mine, it's a life. It started with George because He was his 100th customer. I then showed some important moments of his life for the next 20 chapters. As for the gender thing, He learned the history of the race and many races may have similarities when it comes to gender except having different private parts. They liked the story that's why they gave the reviews. You didn't like it, so you gave it 3.4. I thought everyone had same freedom to express their points. How did it become inflated?
pinaka_:Since when did an Egg became a treasure? It may be in other stories but not in mine, it's a life. It started with George because He was his 100th customer. I then showed some important moments of his life for the next 20 chapters. As for the gender thing, He learned the history of the race and many races may have similarities when it comes to gender except having different private parts. They liked the story that's why they gave the reviews. You didn't like it, so you gave it 3.4. I thought everyone had same freedom to express their points. How did it become inflated?