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Review Detail of _Transcendent in Divine Path System

Review detail

_Transcendent
_TranscendentAuthor2yr_Transcendent

Ouch. It's been almost 4 months since I started Divine Path System. My view on the story and my own writing took quite a drastic turn if I say so myself. This review is partially for self-reflection and partially to give the potential readers an intro as honestly as I can. I'll address the things I think I have done well and not done well from my own opinion, readers' response and feedback on discord. 1. Writing Quality: 3 Stars. Average. A. Prose: Prose wise, I'm average (me being generous). There is no artistic or flowery prose. I tend to write normal sentences. Use normal words. And I use short passages. B. Scenes: I try to provide the sensory details and paint a good picture of the scene. However, it took me a while to realize I'm not giving the scenes enough emotional depth. There is also a difference between what I see in a scene and what you, the reader see. Because I know the scene and then write it, I can see the complete picture. It's my job to make sure you can imagine what I saw and felt—the visuals, the emotions and everything—I did not do justice to the scenes. At least not up to the mark. C. Flow Flow is when you read a chapter without any breaks. I had problems with flow. Adding a sentence or two at some places could've helped the flow and smoothened the reading experience. I've noticed this only after a while. But even till then, the flow is not terrible. It's okay. There won't be any inconvenience in reading the story. 2. Stability of Updates: 5 Stars. Excellent. This is the one thing I can pat my chest and say. I never missed an update. I remember getting a vaccine shot and being sick for a day, yet stubbornly writing that one chapter. Maybe it's the power of streaks? I don't wanna break my streak. 3. Story Development. 3 Stars. Average. A. Plot: Look, I like the story personally. No. I love it. It has some very good elements I want to write about. But the excellent parts of the story are clouded by the sub par ones. If I could do a redo, I'd change the beginning quite a bit. Not that I don't like what's written, but it could've been better. Some scenes, some decisions and some plot points—they bring down the story to 3 stars. Otherwise, I'd have given it 4 stars and I'm sure the overall story would be much better. B. Tension This is something I struggled with and got an idea only after writing almost a hundred chapters. In the early chapters, tension stays high for long periods of time. It can be frustrating sometimes. I've worked on it and I hope to hear your experience. 4. Character Design: 2 Star. Below Average. A. Varian: Writing Varian gets a 3.5 star from me. He is his own person. He does everything because he wants to. Accepting the System's existence, chasing after an illusory but increasingly important girl, facing the unfairness yet not giving up—it's all his decisions. It's who he is. But I wish I could've written him better. At least in the early chapters, I should've shown his proactiveness more. While Varian as a character is 4 star, it's my writing that drags him down to 3 stars and I settled with 3.5 B. Main Characters: 3 Stars Enigma, Sia, Sarah, Kyle, Maya, Evander, Haedon for now. I should've written more depth and added nuance to them. I need to work on the dialogues and how they express themselves—How we talk reveals a lot about who we are. All characters have their own agencies—they have specific reasons for taking the decisions they take. But...I could've made them more real? It's a bit hard to express, but I guess that's it for now. C. Side Characters. 2 Stars. I don't think I should go all in on backstory and deep characterization for every single character. But I could've given them more characterization. More depth. 5. World Background: 2 Stars. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, the world of DPS covers a lot. On the other hand, I could've explored the Solar System and the special locations. How the world exists, operates and how day-to-day life in the federation is. Same goes for the eight Abysses. Well, not like it's the end. I will be exploring the world in the near future. There's also description of the world. My skills were a bit lacking at that time, but indeed, I should've described the world vividly—the worlds, the buildings, the locations and everything. Conclusion: The beginning can be a bit hard. But if you like the concept and look forward to what's going to happen, it gets better. I am learning from my mistakes and I hope I improve. Please tell me what you've loved and hated about the story. Be brutally honest. I can take it. You'll be doing me a big favor by being upfront about it. Thank you for reading. PS: Read the story and decide for yourself. This review is my own opinion. You might, to my own delight, love the story and claim it as your favorite. (haha) No rating, no review can tell for certain if you'll enjoy the story you are about to read. The only way to know for certain is to read and find out.

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Divine Path System

_Transcendent

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Replies39

Mahdi_Mojtahedi_
Mahdi_Mojtahedi_Lv3Mahdi_Mojtahedi_

Chasing the illusionary girl in his memory called Sia was the best part of the story It would have been above average at best if not for the addition of Sia Good work author

NightFlash
NightFlashLv2NightFlash

I hope you do better in future!👍

as1804
as1804Lv11as1804

I just want to know whether this is harem or not???

GrizzWald
GrizzWaldLv13GrizzWald

I dont care about your oppinion I love the story 5stars

its_L
its_LLv3its_L

author san is it harem or not?

Ashborn1609
Ashborn1609Lv4Ashborn1609

one of the best novel I have read so far I hope there's no harem

Atiwan_Saendee
Atiwan_SaendeeLv10Atiwan_Saendee

I think you should have two wives. If alone I would be very disappointed.

Ashborn1609
Ashborn1609Lv4Ashborn1609

Please author tell us if this is harem or not😭😭

_Transcendent
_TranscendentAuthor_Transcendent

Maybe. Maybe not. The story is far from over.

Ashborn1609:Please author tell us if this is harem or not😭😭
BUBA_HALADU
BUBA_HALADULv2BUBA_HALADU

interesting book

Hussain_Khalifa
Hussain_KhalifaLv15Hussain_Khalifa

I think yiur selling ur self a bit short, I love this story 👍(Hope its harem 😤)

KingDazzler
KingDazzlerLv10KingDazzler

best??? are you joking??? that literally killed my interest in this novel ...other things aside were brilliant....🚶🚶

Mahdi_Mojtahedi_:Chasing the illusionary girl in his memory called Sia was the best part of the story It would have been above average at best if not for the addition of Sia Good work author
Mahdi_Mojtahedi_
Mahdi_Mojtahedi_Lv3Mahdi_Mojtahedi_

Well I was interested because it was kind of new for me

KingDazzler:best??? are you joking??? that literally killed my interest in this novel ...other things aside were brilliant....🚶🚶
Paul_bunin
Paul_buninLv1Paul_bunin

I hope only one love interest “wins” and the other gets sacrificed for character development. Doesn’t make sense for both of them .

LeFraud_James23
LeFraud_James23Lv3LeFraud_James23

It doesn't have to be lots of girls. I mean, there's two so far. They both deserve it. Also, it'd be so sad if Varian and you know who don't resolve their problems, memories and not ended up together.

_Transcendent:Maybe. Maybe not. The story is far from over.
AdriftInTheVoid
AdriftInTheVoidLv13AdriftInTheVoid

please no harem,harem is the worst

_Transcendent:Maybe. Maybe not. The story is far from over.
THANATOS_
THANATOS_Lv4THANATOS_

Most of the novels(and anime if you will) are trash and just kills the interest we have; but there's a precious few of them out there that are actually really beautifully written. A shame that the mountains of trashy harem novels have blocked them out of our sights. Those piles of trash need to be purged.

AdriftInTheVoid:please no harem,harem is the worst
AdonisV
AdonisVLv4AdonisV

Harem, if its sia and sarah they deserve it.

_Transcendent:Maybe. Maybe not. The story is far from over.
Rot123456
Rot123456Lv4Rot123456

author pls dont add harem i am begging you

_Transcendent:Maybe. Maybe not. The story is far from over.
Di_fuyi
Di_fuyiLv4Di_fuyi

pls no harem