Review Detail of Slayer104 in A Pervert's World
Review detail
Shamelessly reviewing my own work, just because I am allowed to do that. Rest is gibberish....... ............. .............. ........
A Pervert's World
Slayer104
Liked by 10 people
LIKEReplies20
I jsut want to say, well played on your work. It takes a solid heart to write a novel that clashes with the common masses' ideologies. The Suna ra..pe chapters was a very grand example of maturity. Where others are blinded by their own perspectives and can't see the underlying realty of the situation. I gave this 5 stars review for the breadth of mind.
Amelia: in time she will be exclusive but not right now. Others: Kira and Sophia will be strictly exclusive. Rest might also be like that only but there won't be a strict condition from the MC for them to not engage with other men. All this exclusive business is an evolving thing, even I don't know what the future will hold.
RealMainCharacter:I want to ask author. Do Amelia and others be exclusive his?
Slayer104:Amelia: in time she will be exclusive but not right now. Others: Kira and Sophia will be strictly exclusive. Rest might also be like that only but there won't be a strict condition from the MC for them to not engage with other men. All this exclusive business is an evolving thing, even I don't know what the future will hold.
RealMainCharacter:what about like his sisters? (sorry i only read like a few chapter)
RealMainCharacter:what about like his sisters? (sorry i only read like a few chapter)
I have read about 60 chapter already. One thing I will say that can help the story is to split up the paragraphs to make it easier to read and digest. Because of how long the paragraph are it makes it less enjoyable to read. It feel like I am reading “a wall” and if I stop reading for a few seconds or have to do something else real quick, it makes it hard to find where I left off and I sometimes have to read the whole paragraph again. This is just my own personal opinion/preference, but I think if you make that change it could help improve the story.
Thanks for highlighting it. Actually the first 100 chaps will need a complete overhauling from my side. That was the time when I had just began my writting journey. Will rewrite it probably once I get some free time. Maybe after this first volume ends. Kudos!!
CJSB_2005:I have read about 60 chapter already. One thing I will say that can help the story is to split up the paragraphs to make it easier to read and digest. Because of how long the paragraph are it makes it less enjoyable to read. It feel like I am reading “a wall” and if I stop reading for a few seconds or have to do something else real quick, it makes it hard to find where I left off and I sometimes have to read the whole paragraph again. This is just my own personal opinion/preference, but I think if you make that change it could help improve the story.
One more thing use apostrophes (‘‘) for inner monologues and use quotation marks (“”) when a character is talking. You use apostrophes for both and it is sometimes hard to know whether they are talking to someone or if they are having an inner monologue.
Slayer104:Thanks for highlighting it. Actually the first 100 chaps will need a complete overhauling from my side. That was the time when I had just began my writting journey. Will rewrite it probably once I get some free time. Maybe after this first volume ends. Kudos!!
CJSB_2005:One more thing use apostrophes (‘‘) for inner monologues and use quotation marks (“”) when a character is talking. You use apostrophes for both and it is sometimes hard to know whether they are talking to someone or if they are having an inner monologue.
Slayer104:Correction. There was a situation that developed like that. But a hero saved the day.
