Review Detail of Indeedv9 in U.L.S: Rise of HAKHAMANESH

1. I think, you should work on replacing your (( with " instead to make smoother flowing conversations. 2. I think the dialogue could use some fine-tuning. it seems better made for image format than a book. 3. Also, work on your System itself. In truth, this system here is interesting in sheer size and how many it effect but their feels like very little mystery or aura surronding it in the works itself. Overall, I can see your potential and sparks of greater ideas in here and hope you keep working on your dreams.