Item: The game of revenge
Rating: 5
Author: Jo_J

Jo_JLv133yr

2021-07-29 14:51

You have a great idea for the story! I like the mixture of time travel, reincarnation, and all the science-fiction aspects of your story. The plot is intriguing and your characters are nicely created. The thing that bothers me is the way you construct dialogues, it shows the imperfection of the author's workshop, so there is a place for improvement.

The game of revenge

Maryam_Zahoor

4.8

100 Chs

Liked by 1 people

Replies6

Maryam_ZahoorAuthor

Thanks for your suggestions. Can you please give little bit idea about how can J make characters more effective?

3yr

Jo_JLv13

do you mean expressive?

Maryam_Zahoor:Thanks for your suggestions. Can you please give little bit idea about how can J make characters more effective?

3yr

Maryam_ZahoorAuthor

Yeah

3yr

Jo_JLv13

Your characters are expressive and created well. The main issue is dialogue. Find me on discord, Jo_J#8824 I will send you some help.

Maryam_Zahoor:Thanks for your suggestions. Can you please give little bit idea about how can J make characters more effective?

3yr

Maryam_ZahoorAuthor

OK, I'll

3yr

Jo_JLv13

Here, the links will be censored and cut...

Maryam_Zahoor:OK, I'll

3yr

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