Review Detail of Erxian_ in Are You Trying To Escape The Game?

The story seems really interesting, and the characters feel believable. It seems that you have a good vocabulary. The problem is the grammar feels too foreign. I think you're ordering the words like you would in Vietnamese. The best way to improve that is to write, and read. Considering that English isn't your first language, this is good. The story is still readable, but there's room for improvement. I think over time, you'll improve by a lot. This story is very promising, so I ask readers to please give it a try.