I had a hard time understanding the story at first. The only way I could understand was because of the title and synopsis. Maybe you can work around being more clear in the story and more descriptive about what happened. The characters are likeable since they seem to be really good friends and are very open to one another. All in all, it's still an interesting story and it keeps me thinking about how getting transported to another world changed ryan so drastically. Keep up the good work!
Ashley7Black
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