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Review Detail of Treyon_Daren in Task System of the Incubus

Review detail

Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv12yrTreyon_Daren

The only things that need working are, the grammar... DUDE pls use COMAS!. The second would be world background, try adding more explanations of the surroundings. MONSTER GIRL COLLECTION TITLE CARD IMAGES HERE!. CHECK OTHER RESPONSES: FIRST ONE!

altalt

Task System of the Incubus

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Liked by 54 people

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Replies18

MIKMIK
MIKMIKLv5MIKMIK

Why do I hear the Pokémon theme song while reading all of this

2yr
2
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

2#

2yr
9
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

3#

2yr
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Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

4# Slimes Girls

2yr
9
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

5#

2yr
9
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

6#

2yr
9
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

7#

2yr
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Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

8#

2yr
11
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

9#

2yr
10
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

10#

2yr
9
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

11#

2yr
8
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

12#

2yr
9
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

13#

2yr
8
Treyon_Daren
Treyon_DarenLv1Treyon_Daren

14#. I Dont have the rest :(

2yr
9
xRead
xReadAuthorxRead

Thanks for the suggestion I will try to add comas and more backround information

2yr
11
AbysmalYandere
AbysmalYandereLv3AbysmalYandere

Sir, may I kneel before you?

2yr
2
Crayon_Devourer
Crayon_DevourerLv4Crayon_Devourer

Is it dropped?

2yr
Gagan_007
Gagan_007Lv13Gagan_007

even this much is very useful info me. i was planning to read it. thanks

Treyon_Daren:14#. I Dont have the rest :(
image
1yr
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